Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
sgtgrim570 0
wet pussy fail
MermaidSongXOXO 6
It thought your balls were a toy. It's a common mistake, really.
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Comments (255)
Monikabug 9
Don't worry, OP! I will bring some ice! :) But seriously, maybe it is time to de-claw your cat. Try to be more careful around it next time, but FYL for your cat mistaking your jewels for catnip!
zydr8 0
Sucks for the OP but declawing cats is extremely cruel. How would you like for all of your fingers and toes to be amputated at the first knuckle? Lets do that to you and see what you think then. Besides the cat will still have teeth and will probably use them on the person who took away his claws, then you might remove the teeth. I loathe the way some people treat their pets. Just close the door, it costs far less and doesn't permanently prevent the cat from defending itself if it ever gets out into the wild.
Monikabug 9
ORRRR I could just clip my nails. Which is exactly the same thing. ._.
cst_1281 0
Unfortunately, only a very small percentage of people know declawing a cat involves that kind of amputation.
zydr8 0
clipping their nails would be fine, I clip my cats nails all the time. To declaw a cat they literally preform surgery to remove the cat's first knuckle on every digit.
zydr8 0
Don't believe me? Google it and find out what declawing really is before you go suggesting that the OP should do that to a poor kitty who just got peed on.
SeedlessMe 13
Sorry Monikabug, she got you there... Declawing is a very painful and bloody experience.. Terrible for zee poor kitty involved.... and the techs who have to do it..
paper_tigers 0
Monikabug might not have meant to full on de claw the cat, honestly the first thing that came to my mind was to de claw it ( just to clip its nails, and not amputate the nail bed). Benifit of the doubt...
cheerinsaige 0
oh wow that's nice hahaha
QueenOfStars 0
omg that f'n sucks. u should be like winner FML of the year.
ahugit 0
you mean "weiner"? haha. sorry, that was lame. =P
Razzle_Frazzle 0
lmao. My cats got terets or something cuz he randomly flips out all the time. I've been attacked on the groin many times my that evil fur ball.
Giorgio272 2
dang blood. serves you right for giving your cat a golden shower. next time you wanna get freaky just molest it. plain and simple.
ahugit 0
at least there wasn't a jungle cat in the bathroom....
ImaginaryFoe 1
Or a baby in his closet.
paper_tigers 0
That would be epic "Today, while pissing I got mauled by a jungle cat ... fml" what a great movie
RaWriTbEkElliE 0
This made my dayy. xD
xzorax 0
that's nest up
alexandraa_fml 0
tweet tweet
boopityboppity 11
alexandraa, you just made my day. Thank you :)
alexandraa_fml 0
Hahaha ;)
cylonmaster 0
it's funny, when I'm bored I say "I wanna pee on a cat"....now you get to say "I wanna pee on a cat.....again!"
ahugit 0
that's a little strange that you say that to begin with... lol
ydiftw 0
YDI for owning a toilet