Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
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Top comments
Trisha_aus 15
Eyeliners are evil...My friend almost had the same thing happen to her..except it wasn't a cat..it was me
itwasallyellow 0
Were you doing a cat eye? ;)
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Comments (146)
wairdt 5
Cats are pure evil. :)
Arrawyn 12
Cats are the most amazing companion ever! Crazy people these days...
gurly98 13
Cats are beast man
GothicAngel17 24
No, she's right, cats are evil :) they're just the cutest evil creatures with a knack for being con artists!
hahauRrcool 0
It was just trying to give, you some love.
Arrawyn 12
Curiosity did not kill the cat. It gave its owner a corneal abrasion.
Michaelsgirl04 9
when my cat was a kitten she used to play with my eyelashes while I slept. I woke up in the midst of this once and got a scratched eye. I feel your pain op
iheartstewie7 5
I HATE cats. They are evil I tell you! Thumb me down all you want cat lovers. Dogs FTW!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Nah man, Pokémon are more awesome. They have powers and most of them are ******* DRAGONS!
iheartstewie7 5
Actually, you make a good point. AND, come to think of it, there's a Pokémon that looks like a Pomeranian called Eevee!! And it evolves into many things like Leafeon, Glaceon, Flareon, Jolteon, Vaporeon, Espeon....sorry , bit of a poké nerd :)
TheMathMajor 26
I never understood why people feel the need to pick one pet over another. Dogs and cats both make wonderful companions.
comeatmebroo6254 1
I'm sorry for the damage, hopefully you look fabulous anyway. :)
gurly98 13
Really?????
EnterSandman_fml 20
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought of Ted Nugent when I read this one. Damn, you edited lol.
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
Consider yourself lucky. I know a lady who got scratched on the eye by her cat and now she's blind in her left eye...
Blaqkeyeliner 6
Kitty is just jealous that OP likes me more. :D
_lilla_valora_ 7
the cat was trying to tell you that you had enough makeup on
MGW501 2
Cats are sh_t and p_ss machines. The most selfish domesticated animal known, and often reflective of their owners. You deserved it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh look, another e-thug who hates on the animals people choose and the pet owners themselves, and spreads conspicuous bullshit about them to express their hate. Let me guess, you're a dog owner?