Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
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Top comments
Trisha_aus 15
Eyeliners are evil...My friend almost had the same thing happen to her..except it wasn't a cat..it was me
itwasallyellow 0
Were you doing a cat eye? ;)
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Comments (146)
musicforever444 4
I was burnt in the center of the eye with a cigarette once... Healed in two days. You'll be fine
pappuyarr 1
Thats why i hate cats, they do stupid stuff at wrong time
Trisha_aus 15
I'm surprised no one bothered to include the Sheldon cooper reference..how does that go again? Soft kitty..warm kitty..little ball of **** I forget the rest..purr purr purr
LARobert 1
You got head from a pussy
Scruffy618 0
It's this kind of stuff that makes me really glad that I'm a guy. No eyeliner, no high heels, no taking 3 hours to get ready to go anywhere.
purplemonsta444 0
Stupid cat, see that's why everyone should have a dog
dacuar 0
If the shoe fits.
Maht_fml 0
Ydi for having a cat
jewwybeanzzz 10
This is why I have a dog :P
gingerfly91 1
I thought you said cornmeal bacon. That would be a delicious outcome to this issue.