Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
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Top comments
Trisha_aus 15
Eyeliners are evil...My friend almost had the same thing happen to her..except it wasn't a cat..it was me
itwasallyellow 0
Were you doing a cat eye? ;)
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Comments (146)
2PacMakaveli 0
Is the cat black? Cause thats some bad luck right there.
Enslaved 38
I heard that in the UK, it's white cats that are considered unlucky. Not sure about Denmark which is where the OP is posting from.(:
BradTheBrony 19
UMG DATS RASITS
Michele2luv 8
Pussy is always trying to take someone's eye out. . .
shrimpygymnast 9
OH GOD. eyepatch time
Honestly_Lainey 21
Cat people -_- They're always complaining about something.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Non-cat people: hating cat people for liking an animal since ancient Egypt.
TheMathMajor 26
Because a corneal abrasion isn't something to complain about. -.-
Honestly_Lainey 21
Whoa. Ok. Getting attacked by cat people. Awesome :/ Obviously, I was kidding guys. I'm not stupid. I realize that scraping your eyeball on something would hurt like hell. It was a joke. Lighten the fluff up :)
klorehore 24
OP: 0 Kitty: 1
gurly98 13
Op:0 cat:1 you:-1
Enslaved 38
I once damaged my eye with flying scissors before and you'd be surprised how quickly your eyes will heal. But FYL none the less.
MerrikBarbarian 9
I have to ask... Flying scissors... In your eye? How the **** does that even happen? O-o
Enslaved 38
It's a long story..... ***Translation: it's a story that makes me look stupid! :P
st0815 9
Agreement on this. If you don't do lasting damage, eyes heal amazingly fast. OP, from personal experience with somewhat similar injuries: you'll probably be fine within a few days. So hopefully that's some consolation.
Mnemosyne_Love 2
Look on the bright side, maybe your cat just thinks you're beautiful the way you are. OP's cat: You *****! Stop piling on all that makeup!! It does nothing for your beautiful eyes! OP: Get out of my way *insert typical cat name here* OP's cat: AHHHHH *attacks OP's face* WHY ARE YOU SO INSECUREEEEE.
Trisha_aus 15
Insert cat name: Professor Meowington
alshygirl 14
She might not be able to see the bright side anymore
blueandpurpleroc 4
This is why animals should never near or in the bathroom. One touch and boom! Blindness.
MarisaCB 16
My cat did that with mascara, luckily I just ended up with some stripes.
SkyBirdy 5
Bet it looks badass.