Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
jimmyrules 0
Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.
immja 0
@2 that may have been the problem.. hah
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Comments (428)
KRUSH_fml 0
12yolds should NOT be having sex
Onebadmazda 0
#219 oral sex is sex... either that or anal isn't sex. OP shit happens ur both nervous take ur time it will worth it. don't be a fool wrap ur tool
wndrfltray 0
LMAO!!! thanks for the visual
shayzzz 0
haha fail.
Chfanfiction 0
The first time is never supposed to be good. Anyone telling you otherwise is stupid.
nerdsgetmehot 23
True. It hurt for me!
Crystal_Dreams 0
It was good for me the first time! Four years on and we're still together. :)
superOdY 0
agree wit 11... n that movie is hella funny haha... :)
Mapholisto 7
I don't understand how if a person is a virgin, they'd want to have sex with a person who wasn't a virgin also. That's like having another person's leftovers that have their saliva all over it. But, I also don't see how hard sex is to figure out, too...
Freeze_fml 17
I agree. It's a little bit disgusting how some act proud to lose it to a manwhore.
penguinazul 13
Just because a virgin has sex with someone who isn't a virgin doesn't mean the latter party is a *****/manwhore. Maybe the guy/girl had sex with their previous girlfriend/boyfriend. I wanted to lose my virginity (and I did) to someone that wasn't a virgin so at least ONE of us (him in this case) would know what we were doing and would be able to teach. I'd rather learn something from someone who is knowledgeable than someone who doesn't have a clue. Why is this such a hard concept?
Freeze_fml 17
I never stated that they were all ******/manwhores. Just the certain case where a person usually feels proud for sleeping with one. I understand what you're talking about, which is different from what I'm talking about.
penguinazul 13
I get what you're saying there; the point of my post was giving the reason why a virgin would want to have sex with someone who wasn't -- which was the original question.
purplesucker 0
Ummm, actually it is really hard when it's a woman's first time, and even harder if it's both hers and the man's first time. All the sexually active women I know have all said it was difficult the first time, because it's hard to get the penis in. (OP, I'm guessing this is the problem you guys experienced). If the man is considerate, he will not want to hurt the woman, and he will stop and try to go slowly so that he minimizes her pain. These women I've talked to recommend getting a vibrator that's approximately the same size as his penis, and practise with it, so you can get used to the idea of something that size going in, and you won't clench up as much. Cuz remember, the key to relax your groin muscles, which is MUCH easier said than done. (Although try to avoid getting a vibrator that's bigger than his penis, cuz I've been told that that hurts his pride). (No I do not know this from experience, but I do have a number of sources. So please don't think I'm an expert, I'm really not.)
nerdsgetmehot 23
#277 So true. A woman's first time can hurt A LOT, especially if you're nervous-- which can cause you to clench your muscles "down there" and make it almost impossible to get the penis in.
AyeItsMobleyy 0
I say FYL out if shame
guiltypleasure12 0
#235 explained it perfectly