Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
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Top comments
AbbotsfordVandal 14
What I've found is that after a certain age you stop giving a shit and in this case, start taking *****
Justkidding100 41
well... did you succeed?
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Comments (30)
manuwish 9
hahaha thx OP, I really needed the laugh :)
manuwish 9
my grandma says the shop owners are sadists putting a perfectly usable toilet on display but not allowing anyone to use it :)
InMiddleSchool 3
Donald Glovers brother as an old man.
donb23 23
And that is why they started putting them on shelves, at least they do at the Home Depot.
ThrottleJockey 36
What a coincidence; I'm reading this FML while test driving a toilet at our local hardware store. I shouldn't have had that second burrito for lunch...
trucker2 33
For your convenience the case of corse sandpaper is to your right...
tad02 9
Try restraining you grandpa from dropping his pants in the nursing home.
creditless 14
hey... show some respect for pop pop... he probably fought in the big war. he should be able to shit wherever he can sit. #patriotic