Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are devastated to return our newly adopted "cat friendly" dog to the shelter. He's perfect, other than the fact that he clearly wants to eat our cats. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
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Top comments
Ilikepie467 10
She's turning you into a crazy cat lady
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Do you want fries with that? In all honesty, I like the idea of rescuing animals, but, you are right, there is a limit, especially if it is in your home. Hopefully you can reach a compromise! Until then, I hope you like Pickles :P
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Comments (185)
laden_swallow09 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"We"? Poor show, old chap. Poor show. Be glad no one's calling the ASPCA on you lot… yet.
cyttex 13
Are you impersonating the British or something?
laden_swallow09 35
So I've just gotten done watching an old Sherlock movie. What of it? Besides, isn't it illegal to have so many animals living in one place if not zoned for livestock? Even right after complaining to his SO about it?
Freethaawave 19
I hope Pickles isn't someones outdoor cat that OP's wife just stole lol
Tobber 16
Seriously? -_-
SDee1234 11
Legally you can rescue as many as you want as long as you tell the county animal control your operating as a rescue and the animals are healthy fixed and are current on shots
incoherentrmblr 22
Doesn't matter, is married...
Ilikepie467 10
She's turning you into a crazy cat lady
NeatNit 33
How the hell did you conclude that OP is female?!
AquaBaby 11
My understanding of a crazy cat lady isn't necessarily gender specific
ElementaryEdGuy 18
I am definitely a crazy cat lady, and I'm male. Fight the negative stereotype that only women can be crazy cat ladies!
cryssycakesx3 23
I think 2 means the wife. because the FML is about the wife…
ohcheriecherie 20
sounds more like the cats are doing it.
RinkuTheHero 13
51 #genderequality
lyke_fml 10
crazy cat couple
mollyjynxjax 28
As previous comments explain, "crazy cat lady" works for both genders. Also, OP doesn't seem to have much in the way of balls (at least when it comes to his wife and her cat obsession), so even if it was gender-specific, I'd say it works
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Do you want fries with that? In all honesty, I like the idea of rescuing animals, but, you are right, there is a limit, especially if it is in your home. Hopefully you can reach a compromise! Until then, I hope you like Pickles :P
NeatNit 33
I think the time for compromise is over. There should be no more cats, period. OP needs to make that clear. There are many ways to drive a man to insanity; this is one of them.
unikim 10
I think a good compromise would be saving the cats and then finding a good home for them, would make more sense to me then actually keeping everything they find.
TheMathMajor 26
That's what I was thinking, 31. Just post some adds online and get those cats to some good homes :) my personal limit for cats is way less than 15, but OP and his/her wife should definitely talk about it and agree on what cats and how many they want to keep.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
If OP lives in Virginia I will gladly take Pickles... haha :)
bamachick95 9
68, Generally, people who rescue animals take them to the vet. Op didn't say he is unable to care for the cats or that they aren't being properly cared for, he is just tired of all the cats! Stop being judgmental of what is meant to be a very nice act.
little_one 20
I don't think they have a problem unless you consider having a huge heart a problem. It's hard not to feel bad and want to give them all a home but there does come a point when you need to give them to other good homes.
Kuro_Kamen 12
better check on those local laws too to see how many pets you're allowed to have.
Razi_tail 25
Actually no 76, not every "rescue" is legit. It doesn't mean they don't care about the animals but 15 is way to many for your average household. Cats are much happier being king or queen of a house by themselves or with one other cat. I work at a shelter and know all the health problems that comes with many in a tight living space. The ammonia, possible diseases, respiratory infections and everything is a huge problem let alone fleas, worms, and highly contagious ringworm. Plenty of hoarders start out rescuing the animals and quickly become overwhelmed. They are not the only people in the world that can care for the cats, even though the wife would probably think so.
primadonna9396 16
Most legit rescues place the cats in foster homes while they are waiting for adoption anyhow. There is no reason a good sized house would get gross with 15-20 cats if they are well cared for and promptly cleaned up after. I have seen houses with 25 cats and several dogs that were perfectly decent and houses with 1-2 animals (or no animals and 1-2 people) that were ******* squalid disaster areas that you can smell from across the road. I think OP is probably just annoyed with buying food and litter for an assload of cats, and likely being unable to sleep, eat, or shower without "Meeeeeeeeeeeow mrrrow *bat bat bat*"
UnicornFarts 15
Looks like your wife is becoming the crazy cat lady. Edit: #2 beat me to it.
CobraLazerFace 21
I'm impressed no one has made a lame "pussy whipped" joke yet.
Ki11erC 18
Seems you just did...
tipsy2013 24
you can never have enough cats. .. or pickles.
xBethanyC 15
God bless your soul, Op xD
rogerover 19
I was gonna say you can never have too much pussy but you took it nor step further with the pickle comment!
00sweeney 2
Let me get this straight--if a cat approaches you in public, you "rescue" it? WTF? Not every house is a house cat. You're a terrible person.
hellnosucka 27
woa dude, chill... calling someone terrible when you've never even met them is a terrible thing to do.
NeatNit 33
There is a reason people don't take homeless people in to live with them: it's bloody inconvenient. Don't get me wrong, I love cats (I have two of them) and I think anyone willing to take in a man in need (or woman) is a fantastic person. But generally, there is a limit to how much of your own convenience you're willing to part with in order to help others, and if you've passed that limit you should just stop. Seriously.
yerawizardlizzy 27
"Not every house is a house cat." I'd like to counter that I don't believe any houses are house cats. That would be difficult, to say the least. That would be an extremely large cat.
Mauskau 36
I noticed something was wrong, but completely missed that. My car isn't a car dog :(
skittyskatbrat 19
As long as they report it found, post fliers, check it for a chip, put the free ad in the local paper, post it on craigslist, etc. they're okay. But if they just say "Hey, look, a cat! He's sweet! Let's keep him!" then there is a really big problem with stolen property. In this case, it's entirely possible the house beside the restaurant has a cat that figured out that if you go to Burger King, people sometimes give you bits of hamburger, and that there are lots of mice around the garbage bin. I had a "lost dog" of my own that was chipped, I put up over 300 signs, went to the shelter every day, put an ad in the paper, contacted all 20-something local vets. She looked scraggly and had no collar BECAUSE I WAS TRIMMING HER FUR TO GIVE HER A BATH!!! And during a haircut break was when she got out of the yard. I got her back ten days later because she was really neurotic and the thieves couldn't deal with it. There was even a flier at the end of their street with a picture of the dog. And a flier in front of the house beside mine, where they'd "rescued" her. When they realized she was more than they could handle they decided to call me. They had not even reported her "found" to the shelter. So, I have very very very little sympathy for people that "rescue" animals without trying to find the owners.
scice03 8
Crazy cat lady alert.
AliceLockehart 18
That's pretty much how I rescued my dog, he followed me on a walk one night & back home, so I decided to feed the poor skinny thing. I took him to my local vet a few days later to see if he was chipped or registered, but he wasn't. They took him to the local shelter & kept him there for a week, his owners (if he had any) never turned up so I adopted him. I'm not sure he was well looked after, he stunk to high heaven & had terrible conjunctivitis in both eyes, & skinny as a rake too. Best decision I've ever made, he's a Great Dane x bull mastiff & he's a gentle giant. Very friendly & looooves attention all of the times. :3
jixiekat 14
YOU are the terrible person here
astrogirl_fml 7
Never ever ever ever post it on Craig's list, its too dangerous, some sick ***** go on there to get free pets to do terrible things to them
ItsATwinThing 9
We adopted our cat, he was living in our flower bed for about 3 weeks so we ended up taking him to the vet. Turns out his owners had moved out of the country and just left him. He chose us an eventually we just decided to keep him.
jrod9327 17
Maybe consider passing them off to family and friends who may want cats. They get a good home, and you don't have the responsibility of collecting and caring for however many cats you rescue. You and your wife seem like really good people.
Simbaby 23
By time y'all get older y'all will have 100s of them.
Rainhawk94 27
You said wot m8
FucYoCouch 13
In English, please?
jazzy_123 20
She's from Tennessee guys it's ok lol
Nilorak 24
Did you pick(les) him up?
melacortez 11
Maybe she's needs a kid to take care off, hopefully the ASPCA doesn't go to your home
Rallred32 20
They probably got most of their cats from the ASPCA...