Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
Nevermind212 11
Thanks god you didn't say your boyfriend
Queensland 27
Dodged a bullet there OP. Better sex once then no more, than him coming back and using you for sex.
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Comments (79)
angelitared 27
What was so extremely awkward? His small penis!?
UnicornFarts 15
The awkwardness was from her being bad at having sex.
thatnucca 36
What does penile size have to do with anything...
Tinseltopia 3
Doesn't matter, had sex :)
Cocainee 6
'Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest'
Larry01_fml 19
what a dick!
kurodansei 16
She was scared of it's girth, awkwardness ensued.
sleepy123sleepy 3
Were your parents in the room with you? Because THAT would be awkward.
thatnucca 36
Really?! How did they enter this equation?
Zaros_fml 24
If this FML is an equation then we end up with something like M•F+I = X where M is the guy, F is our OP, I is intercourse and our variable result, X, could be any type of awkward encounter including, but not limited to, the parents.
dangousity 21
Don't have sex with little boys
Goblin182 27
WOW, I have never has sex that felt awkward.
captainmpg 9
Then you've never has sex
WellThatSucked89 13
Sometimes there just isn't any kind of connection. I have had that happen twice. One was with a boyfriend (first time with him) and he ended up never calling me again and moving and changing his number (ops life could be worse). The other was with a one night event that lasted only seconds before he blew his load- we ended up being good friends instead. Awkward sex happens.
DKjazz 20
38, is that where your username comes from?
WellThatSucked89 13
Actually no, but it definitely applies haha. No, the day I made my username was when I had planned to spontaneously get intimate with my husband and mid foreplay I started my period lol TMI, but that's the story lol
mFUNdo21 17
well something got sucked that night...
ULie909 8
That bad!!! U suck!!! Or do u ? Should of to it to the face!!
thatnucca 36
He's a bitch for fleeing the scene before gathering the courage to speak his mind... A man who thinks you're worth his time and effort who have done something to change things during or discussed it right after, and not pull a douche move hiding behind his cellphone... Sorry
skyeyez9 25
An insightful comment....naturally the FML retards will vote it down.
Axel5238 29
That sucks, but it happens. He seemed to be pretty nice about it though. He felt awkward later on and texted you. I think it would been worse if he said let's not do it again right after it happened.
kiakia0131 23
I'm sorry OP. He should have been open with you and tell you what you could have done to make it more pleasurable for him (works vise versa too). Decent, pleasurable sex requires communication from both parties. My ex boyfriend told my best friend that I was terrible in bed because I didn't make noise. I heard it from my best friend, and my ex never communicated that to me. In my defense, every time I made noise he told me to shush because his dad might hear. (His dad is on disability so he lived with his dad to support him) We only had sex a few times in the time we dated but it still really hurt my feelings and my ego.
kurodansei 16
This just makes me angry..... like Wha!?!? Be Quiet I love it when you make noise... ... GAH!