Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
Today, I woke up early and went into the kitchen to get a Monster, and my dad was getting head from his girlfriend with no pants on. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
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Top comments
worldclassrager 41
Go back into your room and stare into the sun...that will make you blind so this doesn't happen again
Exobadger 15
Be optimistic... it could have been 2 balls..or a dick.
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Comments (67)
randomcritic 14
And he's getting a robe for Christmas. I'm not kidding my dad loves his--growing up my parents had matching robes. Oh and those towel wrap things with Velcro they make em' for dudes too.
delichick 27
Sorry I laughed. Then again it wasnt my dad. Then again I havent lived with my dad in nearly 30 years. Sounds like you live at home, dad wants his ball(s) hanging free let him. Could be alot worse.
YooperTransplant 8
Oh Lord. News flash: your parents are humans and have naughty bits. Know what else? They HAD SEX to make you, oh noes.
writergirl1029 17
That doesn't mean you want to see them in all their glory.
dianer7 12
But at least you don't have ass cancer!
TheSulkingDead 14
You sure got some balls for making fun of ass cancer.
gobiteme2 34
Scared at what the future will hold for you
jmacfan1 16
Count your blessings. My dad walks around the house completely naked. There's not enough eye bleach in the world that could rid my eyeballs of that image
Mathalamus 25
Why are people so goddamn indecent? I don't step out of my room without being dressed.
LivToFail 28
dunno, I have woken up to see my 2 brothers and father all sitting on the couch watching football in their underwear eating chips and spilling dip.
mixximoo 24
I don't think all the brain bleach in the world will erase that imagine.
ThreeSheets 14
I call my Dad "Captain Underpants" when he does that. Lol. Tell a sibling, pass it on, it will then go away.
allyiscute1 22
I love how this was worded