Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML
Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
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Top comments
Angelice_fml 0
Ouch, I'm really sorry. ): People take things too far these days.
drawmesunshine 17
Perhaps the male employees felt left out. Maybe at your next job, you should compliment their looks and offer them foot rubs, too. Think of this as a learning experience.
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Comments (209)
Teacatt 13
The fact you put your name as "nice guy" let's us girls know everything about you.
AudiLover21 13
This is what happens when you're nice to a girl who doesn't care anything about you. Most girls just think you want something from them when you are that nice.
yahtzeesouls 12
It's probably Anita Sarkeesians's filthy claws infecting their brains with dumbfuck lies. Telling girls they look good is not harassment.
FarFromHome_fml 17
Comments on appearance when unwanted are textbook sexual harassment OP. Sorry. Clearly you didn't mean it that way, but lots of people who do try to pass offers of foot massages etc off as a joke and then build on it from there. Maybe the women in question had experienced that before and didn't realise that you never intended to take it further? Maybe you were just blind to the fact you were making them uncomfortable? Either way, I'm sorry but they reacted in the way any sane woman does in a world where victim shaming and rape culture are rife. As a general rule think 'would I say this to a male colleague?' If the answer is no, chances are it will be taken as sexual harassment.
TheLynx_fml 20
Look I don't care what other people are saying you are being a nice guy and I respect that, sorry that happened to you
lucasj23 11
obviously you did this in a creepy way. ydi
lucasj23 11
you creeps always say you're joking. women are sick of the crap. ydi
Catto-Golden 23
Okay but both of those can be really ******* creepy, a lot of guys don't know the difference between compliments and perverted comments. Don't compliment their ******* appearance, show you apreciate them as a person. Also, calling yourself a nice guy? Big red flag.
Colin John Brennan 2
Yeah, mate, that's sexual harassment. I love all the guys in here being like "ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY," and I'm just sitting here being like, "man, dudes using their low self-esteem to say women having boundaries is a bad thing is a ******' trip." Wake the **** up and stop blaming women for you being an invasive creep. Rule of thumb; if it would feel awkward saying it to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, you shouldn't say it to women you're not in a relationship with.