Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML
Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Angelice_fml 0
Ouch, I'm really sorry. ): People take things too far these days.
drawmesunshine 17
Perhaps the male employees felt left out. Maybe at your next job, you should compliment their looks and offer them foot rubs, too. Think of this as a learning experience.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
pastywhitekid 10
It was obviously a trap
bitch87 6
Awwww :( u poor thing I feel for u u were just trying to be nice and people don't think that someone can just be nice and offer them something sweet Keep ur head up u were being nice
rozsrredd 16
You didn't realize that work might not be the best setting for that behavior? You might want to work on your social skills.
Thisfreakingguy 10
Yeah that still sounds creepy
NakedPixels 15
YDI. Obviously you have ulterior motives. How many men did you offer foot massages and compliments to? Smh. You sound like the office creep, and it isn't cute.
jackspezzle 7
Creep
grandpeepa 14
I've learned first hand that you shouldn't be nice it gets you nowhere but bad karma for some reason
Jewey_McJewerson 8
Why so many YDI? That was really stupid.
becccers 14
******* femininazis man. Making normal women seem crazy one at a time.
kittykat1501 31
Why all the ydi?
theFickleFinger 24
He gets all the YDIs because he was fired for sexual harassment. We only get his side of the story whereas if he was fired for sexual harassment, I'm going to assume the company did its due diligence. A company is not likely going to go through the expense of retraining someone and a potential lawsuit if the harassment claim is baseless. He even admits to it being multiple women. So, he's either downplaying the severity and number of times he made such comments to his co-workers or he's just an all around creepy guy/poor performer that those two comments got him axed. This sexual harassment shit happens all the time and the "Luckless Nice Guys" get away with all the time. Hopefuly OP learned his lesson, but judging from the name he chose, I'm going to guess he chalks up this firing to Feminazis, luck, or some such crap instead of realizing he might be in the wrong.