Parents, Dad jokes, Argument and Kids: Mystery

Mystery

By Waheyyy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 8 212

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Same thing different taste

By confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 941

You deserved it 3 372

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 6 170

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 5 051

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 136 247

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 519

Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 970

You deserved it 5 070

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 33 781

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 995

You deserved it 3 901

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 908

You deserved it 3 620

Very funny, Mom

By ThanksMa - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 096

You deserved it 14 552

Anonanimal 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:05

he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD

Suckylicious 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:06

my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!

Comments

BadOwner 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:19

#18 i know right?

Towelie_31 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:24

So your adopted, and nobody loves you is what you are saying?

jenga_bitch 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:25

regardless of him being/not being your real father, thats just a ****** up thing to say.

xstaticdelta 6

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:27

Im buring the comments by simply thumbing down a comment refreshing the page and doing it again

Commander223 9

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:19

ur gay then

Notsogood123 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:28

LAME!!! FML

grlwitperlEring 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:36

wow you need to get laid

Witchcraft_fml 4

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:03

Go get a hobby. Bury stupid comments, not random comments simply because you're bored.

gonzolove 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:26

If you need something to do, go to addictinggames.com and play some games to waste time. Stop being annoying on this site.

xstaticdelta 6

Tuesday 8 September 2009 20:38

NONE OF YOU CAN TELL ME WHERE TO BE ANNOYING but since you asked politely SURE

glitchead 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 8:49

gonzo, I feel normal here! I

glitchead 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 8:51

gonzo, I feel normal here! I

grlwitperlEring 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:30

You should have said "really? that's not what grandma said"

wbrycem 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:31

What the **** is up with all of the buried comments

ABbaby 10

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:40

ur comment=WIN OMG who keeps burying all the comments? its annoying

xstaticdelta 6

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:32

Towelie_31 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:40

I saw gamer yesterday, it was a pretty good movie. It was a lot like this FML, but not really...

ajlardner 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 0:51

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 856

You deserved it 6 042

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 621

The Top

Bird's gone wild!

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 85

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 245

Today, I was out driving with my dad when the car broke down. He made me get out and push. I am a 5 ft tall 90 lb girl, and the car was an SUV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 488

Today, I had to take my daughter to hospital because her butt swallowed her dildo. Try as I might, in the waiting area her dad and I couldn’t stop giggling at random intervals at the absurdity of the situation, so she’s probably never going to speak to us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 328

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 314

You deserved it 2 866

Today, I was looking at baby photos of me with my mom. I realized that I was making a funny face in some of them, particularly when smiling. I asked my mom if that was a silly face I used to like making. She replied, "Oh, honey no, you had Bell's Palsy until you were two." FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 89

Same thing different taste

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