Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
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Top comments
dont_doubt_me 29
Your mother is despicable. Why would she even do that?
Grauncho 27
She's attempting to plant the seed that will grow into an inevitable divorce. Clever girl.
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Comments (53)
Grauncho 27
She's attempting to plant the seed that will grow into an inevitable divorce. Clever girl.
bbambastic 16
Does anyone else hate when you hit ydi by accident?
rabbitprooffence 14
does anyone else hate when people reply to the first post hoping to get upvotes?
Perdition25 12
She is not clever. This should in no way put a strain on their marriage if you think about it. All it does is make them dislike grandma for having to rehabilitate their son into knowing mom and dad are not going to divorce.
Roskie 16
#1 was joking, but I agree. **** this grandma.
dont_doubt_me 29
Your mother is despicable. Why would she even do that?
safaeita 32
maybe she's not her real mother, and she's adopted because the mother couldn't have children and now she hates her for having children of her own
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Or maybe she is just a spiteful old hag.
MymB612 14
Thumbs up for your imagination! Clever theory!
ebonyirony 29
Hey **** you. I am adopted for that reason.
domolovesyoshi 33
hey, don't worry about it, people really do need to think before they type.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
#57, that offended you? seriously? take the tampon out of your ass, you're off by just a bit.
sirpantselot 22
I can guess which was your favourite parent.
NoFlippinWai 24
I can guess who is not Ops fav right now.
mattjamt 16
Is that not what #3 just said? There's no point in leeching off the comment of someone else.
Shootermtd25 7
No shit Sherlock
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Yes sherlock does not for this is a mystery for the hardly boys! two young whipper snappers withe a taste for solving mystery. The hardly boys! In the case of the favourite parent.
Sora_McKain 36
#38 You said Hardly boys, which made me thing of something else entirely. I laughed so hard my side hurt, kudos to you!
SmuggletheBudgie 15
I guess no one hear is south park fans asides from us :(
sexysaltshaker 11
Pretty sure she doesn't like your husband ;)
Akay4 14
Sounds more like her son, since she convinced him he's gonna choose one and since his dad's the favorite...And she just heard that...
mdw7 12
Did you read the fml?
sexysaltshaker 11
Me? :)
purebliss_fml 19
So mean of her. Best you and your husband sit him down and let him know you both love each other very much and are definitely not getting a divorce. Poor kid.
aubama_fml 15
At least you won't be visiting her again?
Akay4 14
It was OP's mom, not an in-law
aubama_fml 15
still good reason not to visit her
Dramori 29
Divorce your mum!!! D:
ch2choh 2
You can't divorce your mother. No matter what, she will be the woman who gave birth to you.
Dramori 29
One day I hope you will realise that not all comments on FML should be taken seriously... Ya bawbag :p
perdix 31
#20, I'm glad I didn't try my "I hope you mean ex-mum" comment. It seems this section is overrun by the humor-impaired, and such an original and brilliant gem would have gone to waste.
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe you would have had better luck with the "dump her" comment.
Dramori 29
Hah, well Perdix, I started off with negative votes when everyone thought I was actually being serious - I can't believe I had to make a second statement to mention that I was joking! Fickle voters! ^o^
Soundslikeothers 15
You and your husband may not have issues but your mother sure as hell does. sounds to me like she doesn't like your husband but regardless. You don't say something like that to a impressionable young child.
mangobbler 11
I bet that if you asked her why she did it, her cheeks would become full red and she would say "For the glory of Satan, of course!" Anyway, that was a really large dick move, very disrespectful. Your mum owes you an apology, a big one! Good luck handling this situation, OP.
cakefete2 31
I bet if OP threw water on her mom, she would melt. Problem solved.
rabbitprooffence 14
Jesus, what an awful thing to do! If I were you I would make HER apologize to your son and make things right. Why would she want to make her own grandson unhappy AND try to wreck a perfectly good marriage?