Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
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Top comments
Anonanimal 0
he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD
Suckylicious 0
my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!
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Comments (145)
Stpatch754 0
omg!! tht is genius, when i hav kids i am so using that against them, i admire your dad/fake dad!
element01 0
Thats pretty funny. I will be doing that to my kid one day.
elchapin562 0
your dad's funny, i would crack up if my dad told me that haha
El_loco1988 0
That sucks dude ur pops is ******
memeweaver 0
Ok...Now that was funny, I don't care who you are.
Makaloraii 0
Instead of 'geriatric fool', you should have said 'senile *****'.
terriibabiiix23 0
first of all, what the hell is a geriatric fool ? second, that wasn't really cool of your dad to say thatt..
BinkyMom 0
Sad, but hilarious...
zimbry 0
sucks fer you op.
TheZarola 10
YDI for disrespecting your father like that.