Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa.... - FML

By confsused - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

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Instadrama

Commando

Money management

By sexyyy - Belgium

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

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By bakingwomannnnnnnn - United States - Redding

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

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By dumbgirl4lyf - Ireland - Monaghan

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

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By Monagro - United States - New York

Great plan. Solid.

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me to propose by telling me that the sooner we get married, the sooner she'll get pregnant and hence the sooner we can eat the placenta. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany - Paderborn

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

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By Al - Australia - Turramurra

Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML

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By disembob - United Kingdom

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

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By Wheel chair bound - United States - Marion

Today, I received the good news that my spine looks normal. Either the degenerative disc that was diagnosed 5 years prior magically healed, or my current doctor is an idiot. Considering that it's felt like someone is chiseling into my spine for some days, I'm leaning toward the latter. FML

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By LovedByFamily - Germany - K?ln

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML

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By ellieinc - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Red Sox Nation

Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was anxiously waiting for the guy I had a crush on to pick me up for our first date. He shows up with his son, whom I never knew about, and takes us to Chuck E. Cheese. FML

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By Daniel_rules - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

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By failure - United States - Shreveport

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

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By powerless - United States

Today, a soccer ball hit my car while I was going 75 mph on the freeway during my drive home. I still don't know how to explain it. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

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By whoops - Taiwan

PUSH

Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Palm City

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

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By Brenden - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

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By FallCameEarly - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

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By devilboy - Australia

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML

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By parkingisawesome - United States

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

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By _Asykes_

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

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By strawberrykiwi62 - Israel

Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML

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By mylifesucks - France

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

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By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Prairie City

You Sexty Thing

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML

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By carrie - Algeria

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

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By BigBadTron - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

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By Yazzy - United States

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

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By jazz - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

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By disappointed - 10/12/2020 20:02 - Canada - Brantford

Late term

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

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By sammsamm56 - United States

Today, I found out that my over protective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML

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By toonice - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too nice. Apparently, me being nice to him makes him feel guilty. FML

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By Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

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By blew it

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML

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Top comments

By XDsmileyDX_fml | 24

#5794724 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:35

Merry Christmas!

By perdix | 29

#5794749 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:41

No, your dad is still your dad. Your uncle is your biological father. The man who raises you deserves the honorable title of "Dad" whereas any swinging dick can be a father.

To clear things up further, your mom is a whore.

COMMENTS

By XDsmileyDX_fml | 24

#5794724 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:35

Merry Christmas!

Reply

Kruiser | 16

#5794830 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:32

Maury Christmas!!

Reply

BntyHntrSeattle | 30

#5794921 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 0:47

What if OP is Jewish, hmmm????

*Sorry for the sass- it's Monday.*

Reply

KawaiiCupcake | 14

#5795056 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 2:47

Let's hope OP was not talking about her mother's brother...

Reply

hashshim | 21

#5795192 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:24

#89, if OP was, then OPs original father would simply have been OPs mother's OTHER brother, since OPs farther and uncle are brothers.

Reply

FarFromSocial | 9

#5795303 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 6:53

Wait now I really want to know how OPs mom comes into this

Reply

jococo7787 | 3

#5795307 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 6:56

Keep it up OP. People like tyra banks thrive off of your kind of problems.

Reply

paleriderdeath | 8

#5795828 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 19:42

Happy Heineken lol

Reply

incoherentrmblr | 21

#5796685 - Wednesday 18 December 2013 8:21

It's going to be a very awkward Father's Day...

Reply

Bcfrmkc816 | 17

#5797679 - Thursday 19 December 2013 8:34

if they kmew and youdad raised you as his own and took care of you then he is your dad but your uncle father if he didn't do anything for you then he is nothing more than an uncle

Reply

FarFromSocial | 9

#5798797 - Friday 20 December 2013 9:48

@161 I think I speak for everyone when I say" What?"

Reply

jadenjacksonm | 14

#6331196 - Thursday 25 June 2015 1:20

This is messed up on so many levels.

By jazzy_123 | 20

#5794726 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

macelonel | 26

#5795118 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:26

I love how the guy below you said like the same thing but you get down voted into oblivion.

Reply

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5795186 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:18

People can be cruel

Reply

jazzy_123 | 20

#5795370 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 8:33

104, haha I know, it happens x) oh well.

Reply

illusong | 16

#5808237 - Saturday 28 December 2013 22:33

So that means either your mom is an incest and slept with her brother or she is a cheater and slept with your aunt's husband

Either way.... It's fucked up sorry op :/

Reply

mrlawlor7777 | 26

#6315867 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 6:55

@174: What about sleeping with her husband's brother?

By LaLince | 40

#5794727 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:36

Funny family reunions!

Reply

TCRII | 29

#5795315 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 7:05

Uncle Daddy !

Reply

jazzy_123 | 20

#5796751 - Wednesday 18 December 2013 10:09

121, trying to find ways to combine those words... duncle? ... ahh that's it, I got nothin'!

Reply

roza043 | 14

#5796764 - Wednesday 18 December 2013 10:34

I'm curious of why they kept it as a secret. Was it because your mother loved your father's brother and not your father?

Reply

davidislost | 11

#5796925 - Wednesday 18 December 2013 16:37

You got me buddy ;D!

By LunaArgentum | 3

#5794728 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:36

What a family reunion you'll have this year!

By doLLe | 21

#5794729 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:36

Well at least you are still related...

Reply

Rozay333 | 34

#5795042 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 2:38

Yeah, but the person OP's known their whole life as their dad, is really their uncle.

Reply

ptoka | 20

#5795058 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 2:52

If he's acted and been there like a parent then he is the "dad". There is a difference between being someone's "father" and being a "dad".

Reply

cakefete2 | 30

#5795246 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 6:11

Yep, thats why Vader never said, "Luke I am your dad."

Reply

kristenmg21 | 10

#5795346 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 7:50

he didn't even say, "luke, I am your father."

Reply

A7XCamaro | 19

#5795865 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 20:24

Correct, he said "No, I am your father"

By briangliboff | 12

#5794733 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:37

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

rocker_chick105 | 31

#5794780 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:55

More like Canada...

Reply

FYsocks | 11

#5794807 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

Jelbeztok | 17

#5794848 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:52

Because it clearly shows he's in Canada.

Reply

NotAnAvidGolfer | 4

#5794850 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:55

@36 I think the fact that OP is from Canada is a reason, and maybe the fact that #6' comment is not only extremely stereotypical, it's also extremely overused.

Reply

jamescrazy96 | 17

#6000944 - Monday 7 July 2014 19:33

Ya' know, the reason they thunk he/she is from the south, could be that we's are all inbreed! They clearly made a funny!

Reply

Maclaine21 | 15

#6255839 - Wednesday 8 April 2015 2:33

This is idiotic

By TheNewMirage | 10

#5794734 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:37

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

stuntedat5000 | 4

#5795068 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 3:11

???

Reply

macelonel | 26

#5795122 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:27

I would expect double presents.

Reply

minesbiggerr | 25

#5795173 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:08

Say what now?

Reply

154rct | 7

#5798235 - Thursday 19 December 2013 21:42

What?

By bleeping | 5

#5794736 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:37

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

DalyaTheTurtle | 6

#5794745 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:40

What?

Reply

kit_kat19 | 7

#5794750 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:41

Not necessarily, unfortunately.

Reply

psycheiris13 | 20

#5794770 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:50

No, the mom is still the mom, she just slept with her husband's brother.

Reply

crimsonlilies | 26

#5794791 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:59

Or her own brother...

Reply

tim374 | 26

#5794816 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:24

That would make the same person dad and uncle unless the mum has more than one brother (but that is so much worse to imagine).

Reply

glabberfasted | 16

#5794817 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:25

Has no one thought of the possibility that OP's dad is infertile, and his brother was a sperm donor?

Reply

passcode5 | 5

#5795543 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 14:08

I like this possibility a lot.

Reply

emirie | 21

#5801652 - Sunday 22 December 2013 22:07

Or maybe the biological dad slept with some random chick who didn't want a child, so the dad let his brother and wife (if there is one) adopt OP. Then, technically "mom" would actually be the aunt.

By kit_kat19 | 7

#5794738 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:37

I'd like to know how you found out..
Sorry OP :(

By SmittyJA24 | 26

#5794741 - Monday 16 December 2013 22:38

And this makes your mom.... a slut?

Reply

tkhenslee | 3

#5794819 - Monday 16 December 2013 23:26

No, a sister

Reply

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5795187 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:20

No a grandma

Reply

TheAnon1313 | 28

#6511985 - Saturday 16 January 2016 15:46

There's always the possibility that the mother was originally married to/in a relationship with the "uncle", and when they discovered they weren't right for each other, she met/married the OP 's "dad"