Love: Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were...

By alexander - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 707

You deserved it 1 064

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Same thing different taste

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 221

Added flavor

By Boyufd - 27/10/2020 11:01

Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 186

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 331

You deserved it 4 943

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 441

You deserved it 8 847

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 2 408

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 409

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 1 371

By killme - 29/02/2016 07:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 548

You deserved it 23 566

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 2 008

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 415

LadyRen 20

Tuesday 7 February 2017 18:02

Even with the cap off, peeing in a bottle can be hard for women. We don't have something we can just shove in a bottle easily and pee with.

TheGermanCoon 3

Wednesday 8 February 2017 18:20

She just marked her territory.

Comments

xx000o 27

Wednesday 8 February 2017 20:35

Simple, either she cleans up her mess or she swims home.

dabomsht123 3

Wednesday 8 February 2017 21:28

ROTFFLMMFAO!! That's what you get for taking a girl out fishing!! It's hard for me to piss into a bottle, my dick is to big to stick in the bottle

apossessedbagel 14

Thursday 9 February 2017 17:40

5 Hour Energy bottles don't count.

deathshead 19

Thursday 9 February 2017 20:38

any man who feels the need to talk about how big his penis is does not have a big penis.

ThrottleJockey 35

Wednesday 8 February 2017 21:43

They do make a female friendly portable urinal. They're about $10 and work well.

maritime1992 5

Thursday 9 February 2017 0:02

I hope you dumped her.

mcdgaf 14

Thursday 9 February 2017 0:24

If you're worried about pee in your boat you obviously aren't washing it off after every excursion.

louis.j 1

Thursday 9 February 2017 0:52

There is no floor in a boat. Rather the bilge, where the two sides of the hull meet, with the keel in the middle. Too bad about your gross girlfriend. Hopefully not a mistake she will repeat.