Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, my wife found out when I’m super busy with work and can’t be bothered to walk upstairs for a pee, I just pee into a bottle and empty it out the window onto the grass. I get it’s sorta gross but the way she was yelling you’d have think I took a shit on the drive in full view of the neighbours. FML
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Top comments
LadyRen 20
Even with the cap off, peeing in a bottle can be hard for women. We don't have something we can just shove in a bottle easily and pee with.
TheGermanCoon 3
She just marked her territory.
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Comments (39)
xx000o 27
Simple, either she cleans up her mess or she swims home.
dabomsht123 3
ROTFFLMMFAO!! That's what you get for taking a girl out fishing!! It's hard for me to piss into a bottle, my dick is to big to stick in the bottle
apossessedbagel 14
5 Hour Energy bottles don't count.
deathshead 19
any man who feels the need to talk about how big his penis is does not have a big penis.
ThrottleJockey 36
They do make a female friendly portable urinal. They're about $10 and work well.
maritime1992 5
I hope you dumped her.
mcdgaf 14
If you're worried about pee in your boat you obviously aren't washing it off after every excursion.
louis.j 1
There is no floor in a boat. Rather the bilge, where the two sides of the hull meet, with the keel in the middle. Too bad about your gross girlfriend. Hopefully not a mistake she will repeat.
growlyboy 2
Golden showers....
lone_fenrir_1 1
is she hot? if yes then it's ok
shewasashowgirl 6
are you the OP who talked to his girlfriend about her drinking habit while slightly drunk himself?
Stuffaluffagus 25
I think your girlfriend might be an idiot