Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, first time in a rowboat, I was completely unprepared for just how easy it is to unbalance a boat. All I did was shift my weight to the side to relieve my numb leg, the boat tipped, I overcorrected too far in the opposite direction and tipped myself, my girlfriend, and her parents into the North Sea. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
Still better than having vomit in the kayak
CsHx 16
I guess you could say she had a rather unpleasant first kaYAKing experience.
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Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
You might not have to ever kayak again!
lightningclicks 24
This is such horrible grammar! Has nobody ever taken any English classes?
Regulate 21
Just imagine it being spoken by an excited child. "I went to the beach by the ocean and I saw a dog and the dog was called Blue it was a nice dog".
Regulate 21
Just imagine it being spoken by an excited child. "I went to the beach by the ocean and I saw a dog and the dog was called Blue it was a nice dog".
Regulate 21
Just imagine it being spoken by an excited child. "I went to the beach by the ocean and I saw a dog and the dog was called Blue it was a nice dog".
Regulate 21
Just imagine it being spoken by an excited child. "I went to the beach by the ocean and I saw a dog and the dog was called Blue it was a nice dog".
Regulate 21
Also, slow internet is great.
Regulate 21
Also, slow internet is great.
pjsr 33
Still better than having vomit in the kayak
CsHx 16
I guess you could say she had a rather unpleasant first kaYAKing experience.
Mooglefox 24
At least you had a way to clean yourself really fast