My ears!

By ANONYMOUS -_- - 15/12/2013 17:18 - United States - Providence

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 878
You deserved it 3 532

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*sees location* Maybe this person was trying to choke it to death in order to make some Kentucky Fried Cock.

Maybe he should loosen his grip on his right hand next time


I wish I weren't a bellend

'Tis the season

Sounds like the Griswold men are reflecting on their sexual encounters...

*sees location* Maybe this person was trying to choke it to death in order to make some Kentucky Fried Cock.

That was terrible. I get it, but it's terrible.

I think that Frank Purdue might have more experience choking cocks than many of us do.

At the stake of getting downvoted, I just want to say I don't understand what any of the above comments mean.

Stroke it dont choke it

I'd fit right in! you could learn alot from these guys!

A lot about what NOT to say if said guy wants to settle down, nam'sayin'?

ya I'm with you. that group sounds like the type of guys you could have a beer and watch the game with. they also sound like the type that won't run away when you get caught in a fight...

OP is a girl.

Well it's his fault for being ambiguous with his instructions

The South at its finest.

Kentucky's not even a Southern state. It's part of the Appalachian Highlands. It didn't even secede in the Civil War.

^ Just for your information, I wrongly assumed it was indeed the South simply because of the way that sentence was put together and the fact that they're talking about handjobs openly. Yes, it was a stupid joke, and it was pretty rude. I aplogize for my ignorance.

33- Well, thanks for assuming that everyone from the south is a stupid redneck that only talks about botched handjobs and the such. You show such intelligence.

I don't know about you guys, but every time I think of the South, "haggard hand job", is the first thought that comes to mind. It's common knowledge that all those beautiful Southern bells are horrible at the art of the infamous hand job. Now blow jobs, well let's just say that accent of theirs must really work out their tongue muscles..

I'm from wisconsin and we talk about bad handjobs all the time. It's not only a southern thing.

I was definitely joking, haha. Bad hand jobs are an epidemic that sweeps the entire globe. I'm quite surprised anyone would take my comment literally. I'm from Pennsylvania. The callused hands belonging to those cute Amish gals certainly aren't a treat for my "heavenly wood". Haha..

What? People up north don't give handjobs? Because... Because their hands are too damn cold? I guess either a good blow job, or a hand job with an oven mitt fresh from the dryer is more their speed?

"Here they come to snuff the rooster"

Sounds like his life might suck more than yours---depending on what damage all that choking caused.....

Boys will be boys?

hiding in estrogen and wearing aubergine dreams?

i love you for the patd reference.

Such a nice conversation.