Sex, Gross and Intimacy: Mr Clean - FML

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 305

You deserved it 7 605

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 272

You deserved it 8 513

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 918

You deserved it 20 696

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 165

You deserved it 63 375

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 1 321

Grunge

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Brunswick

Spicy

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 251

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 134

Rico Suave

By eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 796

You deserved it 9 833

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 7 046

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 357

Next

Top comments

HelloSirs 14

Friday 18 January 2013 16:42

When they talked about this in Charmin commercials, I never believed them. Learn something new every day.

ElatedEarthling 15

Friday 18 January 2013 16:49

He was probably too wiped out to notice the extra toilet paper. I know it stinks, but it happens. Maybe next time you should just disregard it and stop being so anal.

Comments

nemoyae 1

Monday 4 February 2013 0:26

nasty

profligatesoul 18

Thursday 14 March 2013 2:45

Aren't you supposed to "freshen up" before you get it on?

JulieG65 15

Wednesday 24 April 2013 2:24

Haha eww!

kristen99 9

Sunday 26 May 2013 6:13

Should have listened to Charmin!

Bluemonster3 26

Friday 8 November 2013 1:31

How sexy...

Jebitesevsi 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 3:09

Time to change your boyfriend!

mscouten 3

Sunday 24 August 2014 22:45

I just up in my mouth a little bit.

Solano2580 24

Wednesday 25 February 2015 20:03

I don't get why some women enjoy a man's nipple and ass, it just doesn't look appealing, then again I'm a guy so I wouldn't know

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Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 446

You deserved it 45 007

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 786

You deserved it 3 827

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 298

You deserved it 2 521

Today, a tenant complained about me on the local news by name. The company I work for refuses to fix the electric in her building. I make $41K per year, and I’m “a selfish millionaire slumlord.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 179

Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 426

Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 885