Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML
Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML
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Top comments
Eresbel 0
#3 isn't being graphic. People need to get over it - it's a ******. Half of you've got one, most of the other half wants to stick their penis in one. Grow up.
Kiriel 2
Douching, while being nasty in general is actually rather unhealthy, too. "Douching upsets the natural pH balance in your ******, making you more susceptible to yeast infections. It can actually push bacteria up, too (introducing infections). The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services strongly discourages douching, warning that it can lead to irritation, bacterial vaginosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease."
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Comments (187)
Foxears 2
BURN
unilpentium 0
Hi everyone. I have committed myself to waging war agains FML's massive overusage and misusage of the words "realized," "noticed," "discovered," and "learned." Here are some synonyms you can use instead: Detected, discerned, distinguished, picked up on, recognized, saw, spotted, observed, became concious of, comprehended, grasped, knew, took in, understood, attained, ascertained, came across, contrived, determined, disclosed, identified, perceived, revealed, and unearthed. Please, bring linguistic diversity to FML.
Wizard_and_glass 0
Why the hell did you text her to tell her this? That's like calling your mom up to tell her you found some tampons in the bathroom.
Mylees 0
absolutely love her response
jskibabe22 4
love #5. that's just priceless. people do need to grow up!!
iHelloKitty_8D 0
Your Mom ftw.(:
xGTFx 0
ur mom rocks xp
hpbrocster 0
ha she told u!!
beckyxD 13
This is why parents shouldn't text :P
lesbionist 10
That IS gross