Intimacy and Love: Meat

Meat

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 130

You deserved it 41 953

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Same thing different taste

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 280

By Ew?Really? - 04/08/2014 05:42 - United States - Montrose

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 087

You deserved it 4 985

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 391

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 3 081

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 459

You deserved it 4 927

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 480

You deserved it 7 369

Contempt

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 21:46 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Tuzla

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 730

You deserved it 6 667

The good old days

By WOWreally - 25/09/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 12 108

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 50 978

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 196

teriyakioxo 4

Thursday 21 February 2013 12:38

What have you done to our elderly? D:

DocBastard 38

Thursday 21 February 2013 12:48

Maybe the fact that you call it "man meat" like a pubescent teenager is what turned him off.

Comments

hienzburgess 9

Thursday 21 February 2013 15:02

.....his "man meat"?

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 21 February 2013 16:17

Yes. Obviously, they were eating Subway sandwiches while in the shower. "Man meat" refers to his favorite type of sandwich, pastrami and roast beef on whole wheat.

littlemsweirdo 12

Thursday 21 February 2013 18:12

His dick. Okay? Was that so difficult to understand? I'm 14 and even I got the reference.

hienzburgess 9

Thursday 21 February 2013 18:19

I know what it meant, it's just an awkward way to refer to it

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 21 February 2013 18:37

Pastrami and roast beef on whole wheat is commonly referred to as "the dick" in New York deli shops. Next time you're in New York, stop by a deli and ask for "the dick". You'll be glad you did.

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Thursday 21 February 2013 15:23

Better hope you know a decent therapist. This FML made me sick to my stomach.

kennaem1 11

Thursday 21 February 2013 15:25

Maybe he meant other nurses?

beanthemouse 13

Thursday 21 February 2013 15:27

Note to self: never go in FML while eating a tuna sandwhich :/

Enslaved 36

Thursday 21 February 2013 15:29

If you washed him exactly like you would at your job, it really doesn't sound sexual (your patients might see it otherwise). While in the shower, you could always play hair saloon. Have him shampoo your hair while you're on your knees. ;) Coconut scent!