Marriage story

By collegekid - 17/05/2020 14:00

Today, after 25 years of marriage, my parents decided to get a very nasty and extremely expensive divorce. Using my college tuition to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 118
You deserved it 194

Same thing different taste

Top comments

How did they get access to your account with the money you earned? Oh, it was money they intended to give you? Well then it wasn't really "YOUR" college tuition now, was it?

If the parents want a divorce, they are entitled to get divorced. Children are not entitled to have their parents pay for their college. A lot of people earn their own way in life. A child is not entitled to their parents money.

Comments

Well it’s their money. If the divorce was that bad imagine how crappy the marriage was. They bought themselves a better life

Its still not ok though they just hit their child with a sudden divorce then were like oh and ur not going to college either they don’t deserve a better life

They don’t deserve a better life if their willing to spring a sudden divorce and then say to their kid oh by the way ur not going to college and you’re gonna have to choose one of us

If the kids college aged they’re not gonna have to choose? And the kids hardly the only one who’ll be paying for college themselves

If the parents want a divorce, they are entitled to get divorced. Children are not entitled to have their parents pay for their college. A lot of people earn their own way in life. A child is not entitled to their parents money.

How did they get access to your account with the money you earned? Oh, it was money they intended to give you? Well then it wasn't really "YOUR" college tuition now, was it?

It isn't YOUR money unless you put it in your account and they took it.

Well sure it's not the kids money, but if the parents raised the kid with the intention of helping pay for tuition and made it known that was the plan to the kid, then springing this out of the blue, especially if the kid is just about to graduate high school is a dick move. That being said, divorce doesn't just develop overnight. OP had to have known something was up for a while and should have started planning.

rotflqtms_ 21

I paid my own way through college. When I was growing up, I got allowance and my mom would take it back to put in savings for college. When I was in middle school, I started working at a fish market and would do that all summer. I'd go home on the bus smelling like fish, and adults and children alike would all make comments about how I smelled, but I was saving for college. I'd take the money I made and give it to my mom to put in my college funds. When I got to high school, my mom sent me on a trip for medicine since I was going into the medical field. When I was applying for colleges, I asked my mom about the college money I had been saving up all that time...she said to me that she used it to send me on the trip i didn't actually ask her to go on. i was very upset at first, but she was a single mother and probably needed to use that money to help pay the bills and put food on the table me and my 2 older siblings. I forgave her and decided I was going to do college and work while I earned my degrees. I did just that. it took longer, but I did it. I'm not gonna sit there and say it wasn't hard, and that I wasn't mad at her, especially since she never told me I didn't have the college money I thought I had until I had already started applying for colleges and found out I was gonna have to find another way, but I did it and it worked out. i may have had to do the cheapest colleges I could find, and i may have had to do part time some years, but it made me value my education even more because I was paying for it. I had help. I didn't have to pay rent and I didn't have to pay for all of my food, and my clothes I had all did fit me, and my family took me shopping for new clothes when they decided I shouldn't wear stuff from middle school and high school while going to college. But yeah... it's a big shock to have to sort that all out while still being a teen (I was 17. not quite old enough to vote) But I did what needed to be done, and I'm glad I did it. And I don't hold it against her. And I don't expect her to pay me back, because she never expects me to pay her back for all the stuff she did for me whole I was growing up. All the food, clothes, toys, the roof she provided for me. None of it. So yeah, I was upset. but if she had to take it, she had to take it. If it made the difference between us having a home or sleeping on the streets, I'm glad she had something to use for the hard times being a single mom with 3 kids to feed and clothe and provide shelter for. And if I could go back to my middle school self and tell them what would happen to the money I made while working in that fish market, I wouldn't. I'd let it happen again because if she didn't have that money, I dont know what she would have done and what our lives would have been like.

bl3ur0z3 17

In fairness, they don't owe you a free ride through college. You can work to pay for it like most everybody else.

#1: If someone decides to have a child, they are assuming financial responsibility with no expectations to be paid back. #2: No, not all parents pay for their kid’s college tuition, but if they promised it and then took it back with no warning, that’s just plain shitty. Especially if the kid was really close to college age. #3: Yes, they can work to pay their own college, but it’s much more stressful to have that just dumped on you than to plan for it. Overall, even if it wasn’t the kid’s own money, behavior like that from the parents is still irresponsible and inconsiderate.

And now you know to focus on science instead of love.

DETR can help you find jobs you can work while going to college. Unfortunately, that's about the only option you have. That said, I advise finding some scholarships, so you can also move out and cut your parents out of your life, because clearly they don't understand how this whole 'parenting' thing is supposed to work, and they're ungodly leeches.