By Anonymous

Love is strange

Today, I learned that, just like in the movies, your ex-boyfriend can eventually wind up being your stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1992

You deserved it

126

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Proactive

RIP in peace

Dicks aplenty!

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38658

You deserved it

2704

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By [SiMON] - France

Today, I invited a girl I really like to spend the afternoon at my place. Everything went great... with my sister. They became really good friends, and me, well, I tried to alleviate my boredom in front of my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24002

You deserved it

2809

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By SweeT

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17898

You deserved it

54997

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By Amy - United States

Not now, Kelsey

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37614

You deserved it

7215

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By Gayeveryday - Canada - Truro

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32365

You deserved it

5896

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By Anonymous - 16/6/2020 17:01

Peaky Bladders

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1259

You deserved it

361

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By Radgirl - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17318

You deserved it

58360

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2020 14:00

Eye-bleach please

Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1378

You deserved it

227

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By Username - United States

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11918

You deserved it

59800

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By Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48636

You deserved it

3301

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By problemchild - United States

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46361

You deserved it

3706

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By fml9124 - 2/11/2020 08:08

Old lady hotline

Today, I called the Suicide hotline. I dialled the number wrong and woke some poor old lady. She thought I was her son and kept asking me, "How come you don't visit anymore?" I told her I couldn't visit because of the Covid pandemic. I lied to an elderly woman I've never met. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1001

You deserved it

149

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By wellthanks - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

60314

You deserved it

5841

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By Bllllaaaaaah - United States - Juno

Wax on, wax off

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks

775

You deserved it

1618

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By Tori Pearson - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33628

You deserved it

6812

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By JustADream - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34465

You deserved it

9418

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By Kimberlie - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

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48152

You deserved it

4845

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By DrySpellcaster - 7/10/2020 16:57

Get it on, bang a gong

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1020

You deserved it

161

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By Anonymous - United States - Hillsboro

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21520

You deserved it

2078

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By Livewire - United States

Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28844

You deserved it

7499

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By Little Miss Fucket - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44774

You deserved it

4159

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By Anonymous

Poor me

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1830

You deserved it

212

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39791

You deserved it

23125

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By Anonymous - United States - South Gate

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10609

You deserved it

37245

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By What did I do wrong? - United States - Manhattan

Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2808

You deserved it

158

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By Mills - United States

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46108

You deserved it

2318

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, as I was ringing in a customer I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this I sniffed my hands because they had gotten wet and said to the customer, "Oh the can is leaking want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." I sniffed some customer's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51282

You deserved it

5767

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By kerripjones - United States - Newark

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27145

You deserved it

2096

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By The horror... - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25266

You deserved it

3137

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By failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37384

You deserved it

4851

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By UnemployedGrad - United States

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41030

You deserved it

7025

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By explanations - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80457

You deserved it

7860

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By Username

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36859

You deserved it

3459

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By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26391

You deserved it

3577

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By ProAwkward - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40696

You deserved it

5832

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By seriously though - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54766

You deserved it

3555

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By Jaayoung23 - France

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22538

You deserved it

4371

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Today I saw a picture of my ex giving her new boyfriend an extremely familiar ring. Upon zooming in, I realized that it was the engagement ring i gave her that she claimed to have had stolen from her home... FML

I agree, your life sucks

2640

You deserved it

164

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By peallow - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56722

You deserved it

20001

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By missbutthole - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34589

You deserved it

3864

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Top comments

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7851983 - Thursday 17 October 2019 22:17

My stepmom used to try to move in on my sisters and my boyfriends. Kinda creepy and gross. I'm sorry your mom managed to snag one.

By mcsmee | 5

#7852038 - Friday 18 October 2019 2:03

I think that makes him a motherfucker in the technical form of the word.

COMMENTS

By aerith105 | 14

#7851979 - Thursday 17 October 2019 22:04

I'm gonna be honest I need a little more info cuz what

staaacey | 29

#7851986 - Thursday 17 October 2019 22:23

sounds like OPand her boyfriend broke up, then the ex boyfriend started dating her mom

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7851983 - Thursday 17 October 2019 22:17

My stepmom used to try to move in on my sisters and my boyfriends. Kinda creepy and gross. I'm sorry your mom managed to snag one.

distortedcognition | 17

#7852034 - Friday 18 October 2019 1:57

Whoa... that chick has ISSUES

By RichardPencil | 28

#7852011 - Thursday 17 October 2019 23:21

You like MILF porn, too?

Good stuff!

By mcsmee | 5

#7852038 - Friday 18 October 2019 2:03

I think that makes him a motherfucker in the technical form of the word.

By Charlie Given | 23

#7852050 - Friday 18 October 2019 2:57

Well depending on age difference your mom might be a closet ChoMo but either way she has serious issues.

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#7852083 - Friday 18 October 2019 7:43

Either your stepmom is a cougar and found a cub or you might have some daddy issues and like older man.

By slowhandjp | 16

#7852153 - Friday 18 October 2019 13:07

What movie did you see?

By bullsonyourface | 20

#7852178 - Friday 18 October 2019 14:56

that's pretty shitty of your mom, I really hope she talked to you and got your blessing so to speak before she pounced

By ThatOneLonelyAsian | 31

#7852199 - Friday 18 October 2019 16:50

I like older woman too so I'm assuming he was just in the closet while sleeping with you or what if ... You were an excuse?

By A Frenchy in Eire | 31

#7852208 - Friday 18 October 2019 17:28

What movies?