Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Try to get in on the production? If not on-camera talent, you can be in the behind-the-scenes production. Maybe you can be a fluff girl.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Try to get in on the production? If not on-camera talent, you can be in the behind-the-scenes production. Maybe you can be a fluff girl.
Wadlaen 24
Go ask if there's room for one more! ...it's probably better to join in than to just sit and listen.