Intimacy, Sex, Neighbours and Noise: Love is loud - FML

Love is loud

By Spill the beans - 13/11/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 214

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Spicy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 668

You deserved it 4 389

Get it on, bang a gong

By can’t sleep - 17/06/2020 17:04

Spicy

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 355

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 151

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 4 974

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 817

By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 451

You deserved it 3 936

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 008

You deserved it 4 493

By ptiluinthesky - 24/11/2008 02:56 - France

Spicy

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 010

You deserved it 3 021

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 610

You deserved it 4 398

Mr Rogers

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

Spicy

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 136

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 13 November 2022 4:39

Try to get in on the production? If not on-camera talent, you can be in the behind-the-scenes production. Maybe you can be a fluff girl.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 13 November 2022 4:39

Try to get in on the production? If not on-camera talent, you can be in the behind-the-scenes production. Maybe you can be a fluff girl.

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 13 November 2022 23:02

Go ask if there's room for one more! ...it's probably better to join in than to just sit and listen.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

The Top

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 2 395

Today, I went to court to fight my old apartment complex about carpet replacement, because I'd left it completely spotless, only to wait two hours to be told they'd rescheduling it for March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 74

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 830

You deserved it 3 929

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 809

You deserved it 7 128

Today, I went to a salon to have my eyebrows waxed. During the application the woman sneezed. The wax is not water based, so no matter what they tried, it would not come out of my eyebrows. I now have to decide whether leave the noticeable brown wax in my eyebrows or wax them all off and draw them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 194

You deserved it 1 938

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 3 400