Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, apparently he's into that. Maybe he meant your pecks?
iLike2Teabag 27
Who doesn't love perky ****?
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Comments (98)
fivehuskies 6
YDI for being gay
_mocha1_ 10
YDI bro. Im just saying gay is bad.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Is he bisexual?
Daesh_fml 9
that's hilarious, I comment on my boyfriends perky hits all the time.
nodai 13
Sounds like a boyfriend AND a girlfriend?
TallMist 32
Why not #72? It's a definite possibility the OP's boyfriend is bi and cheating on his boyfriend.
ChrissyLou93 0
Unperky **** on a man is nasty. I agree with your bf
rannaluv 9
Don't feel bad! I think that's an awesome compliment, for both men and women :) (my opinion of course) still though, your boyfriend bragging about you is pretty cool.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
I believe he's lying because his friends must be homophobic and he doesn't want them to know he's gay. About what he told them, it is weird to say that a man has very perky ****. But, as a man, I think that the other compliments are fine for men. I also think he was sincere about your smile and your hair, and I want to believe that he really loves you.
gobiteme2 34
Well be happy perky **** won't last forever.
purple_lurple123 12
I didn't see that coming....