fmlTGOD
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Lightweight
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
Top comments
CinderellaC 4
you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel
shadowgamer_x 0
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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Comments (189)
novair 5
bad problem.
Jimster1712 0
Fair enough, thats reasonable.
eminemchick 19
I can only imagine. "**** it, I'm leaving you." "what?! Why?" "you have a drinking problem!" "wtf i barely drink" "yes. That is where the problem lies.*takes a huge swig of jack daniels*"
xDefendPopPunkx 14
My guess is that OP's girlfriend either has chemicals in their brain that shouldn't be there or they are missing ones that should be.
hannahmorgan06 7
Well, atleast she's your ex now.
loserman67 36
the girl or the drinking?
xoconnie 8
maybe ur not fun or something and she thinks if u drink u might get exciting lol idkk.
LiveLaughFML 10
lol so your girlfriend prefers you coming home at 3:00 A.M. on a work night from the bar with your buddies? blame it on the a-a-alcohol.
Marktheshark 0
Is your gf Lindsay Lohan?
enonymous 9
Guys love dumb chicks because it gives them a chance to be right most of the time.
seanders 10
I thought Amy Winehouse was dead.
poostool 5
12 - there is nothing wrong with being slutty. Deep down we're all *****. Op - stop being a prude and have a couple drinks.
anencephalic 14
60 - she didn't even mention the word ****.
goebsy 8
Your reaction: pour yourself a stiff drink
me_the_maniak 14
haha .. so maybe the "coming back with buddies" part is exciting .. :P
EnEl_Infierno 15
You do have a problem op, that you're a dumbass, I bet you're now ex was the life of the party, and you where the dumbass to tell everyone to use a coaster because the glass will leave a ring. Life is short, my advice... Pop open a cold one, live it up, and PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD!
Blazingcrono 6
95 - For some reason I can't help but find that you're the dumbass...
NTimmy 2
That's her way of saying ''we don't have sex enough''
Boygenius50 8
95, I'm like 75% sure you're a troll, but just in case you're not, I'll give you some advice: Please, for the sake of society, do NOT procreate.
bfsd42 20
52, too soon asshole.
seanders 10
134: never too soon.:). If I'm gonna mock someone while they're alive, death isn't gonna change a thing!:). Besides, since when was a law stated that you must wait a minimum time before mocking the dead?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
This is what happens when you date Ke$ha.
shadowgamer_x 0
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
DKParth13 5
I like turtles !!!
baconftw 9
Drink your problems away.
Dreamkiller51 5
76- up your ass lol
flagg1888 3
I think you do have a problem, time to go to a retox clinic!
someguy314159265 15
Ashamed for choosing not to drink enough to damage your brain? I think you are the one who should be ashamed of yourself, #2
SugarRushxx 0
Facepalm @125
kaoss54 3
125 I bet you're the sober guy at the party ruining everyone's time by trying to talk them out of drinking cuz you can't handle alcohol
someguy314159265 15
157 - I don't even go to parties, for Christ's sake!
plasticspoon 0
You fail^
Mcdeath945 1
Is she a blonde?
max_wilder 9
At least you don't have to be in the car as she drives home drunk
DelilahPhan 6
What's wrong with blondes?
amayalives4music 1
132- there known to be stupid. You have yet to learn.
amayalives4music 1
I'm not saying they are but many people say so...
amayalives4music 1
.
grapisy 8
135- They're* Filthy hypocrite.
CinderellaC 4
you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel
eminemchick 19
My therapist Dr. Sam Adams really helped me, too. I no longer have a no drinking problem now.:3
loserman67 36
or talk to his Old Grandad
aFatFuck 0
Actually, contrary to popular belief, Dr. Four Loko is the most intelligent and professional of the bunch.
sxe_beast 11
I just consult the grey geese at the local park for my problems or look to the skyy and ask the absolut one for advice.
Vash_41288 10
I also hear Dr.Bacardi has experimented with 151 and has had real results. Try his cure
KiddNYC1O 22
That's nothing. Sir Amstel experimented with light beers and later became Presidente of Coors Light.
anencephalic 14
I've heard nothing but good of Dr. Pepper.
carpedhiem 0
I dont know about all your Doctors, but I've always spoken to General Jäger for his advice about bombs :)
CanadianPuckHead 4
Dr. C Morgan isnt half bad either
yadisingh 5
I heard that not drinking helps you live a longer life. Also, from abuse if alcohol consumption, you can damage your liver. The joke was over after the Jack Daniels one, losers.
THE_A_TEEN 28
@ 111 you need help from DR. Mike and his patented Mikes Hard Lemonade
Shut_Your_Mouth 0
all the doctors names you listed are better than my FORMER therapist, Dr. Thunder.
Nico711 17
There’s this lady I go to called Stella Artois, she really helped me
Person1233 13
She just wants to rape you when you're drunk off your ass, so she will live off of your child support for the next 18 years when she gets pregnant. You've just avoided her grand scheme. Good job.
saIty 17
Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. Some people don't even call that alcohol.
Jesus_Christ69 0
It's got like 2% so you'd have to drink 20 just to make it like a shot of vodka practically xD
aKaClickZ 4
actually it has just as much alcohol as a beer
whisperingeye13 0
actually even more than most beers!
becauseitsme 0
actually it's 5% dipshit. you must be 16.
fthku 13
You drank a little too much bitch this morning, #69.
BooGhosted 0
Hahahahahaha I know more 16 year olds that I can guarantee know more about alcohol than you.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Come chill with me, I'll teach you how to stand after downing a half gallon of vodka.
HyphyPenguin 5
Wow. Well, that just shows she's too immature for you.
QueenQuay77 10
that sounds stupid to me, most girls have the opposite problem. I'll tell ya most girls don't no what they want and this is coming from a female
justs0me_r0mance 0
i couldn't have said it better myself
ironwords 8
Solution, trash her house, drink all the booze, jerk off in her panties then run then burn the house down
KiddNYC1O 22
And don't have sex if she's too gone. When it comes to condoms- put two on.
anencephalic 14
Because the mind of a woman is universal? Please, stop this nonsensical sophism.
ramboman19 8
Better off without her. You don't need a girl who drinks a ton to enjoy life.
loserman67 36
girls who drink are girls who ****
screamo_neve 12
Oh yes, win.