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you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.


bad problem.

Fair enough, thats reasonable.

I can only imagine. "fuck it, I'm leaving you." "what?! Why?" "you have a drinking problem!" "wtf i barely drink" "yes. That is where the problem lies.*takes a huge swig of jack daniels*"

My guess is that OP's girlfriend either has chemicals in their brain that shouldn't be there or they are missing ones that should be.

Well, atleast she's your ex now.

the girl or the drinking?

maybe ur not fun or something and she thinks if u drink u might get exciting lol idkk.

lol so your girlfriend prefers you coming home at 3:00 A.M. on a work night from the bar with your buddies? blame it on the a-a-alcohol.

Is your gf Lindsay Lohan?

Guys love dumb chicks because it gives them a chance to be right most of the time.

I thought Amy Winehouse was dead.

12 - there is nothing wrong with being slutty. Deep down we're all sluts. Op - stop being a prude and have a couple drinks.

60 - she didn't even mention the word slut.

Your reaction: pour yourself a stiff drink

haha .. so maybe the "coming back with buddies" part is exciting .. :P

You do have a problem op, that you're a dumbass, I bet you're now ex was the life of the party, and you where the dumbass to tell everyone to use a coaster because the glass will leave a ring. Life is short, my advice... Pop open a cold one, live it up, and PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD!

95 - For some reason I can't help but find that you're the dumbass...

That's her way of saying ''we don't have sex enough''

95, I'm like 75% sure you're a troll, but just in case you're not, I'll give you some advice: Please, for the sake of society, do NOT procreate.

52, too soon asshole.

134: never too soon.:). If I'm gonna mock someone while they're alive, death isn't gonna change a thing!:). Besides, since when was a law stated that you must wait a minimum time before mocking the dead?

This is what happens when you date Ke$ha.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I like turtles !!!

Drink your problems away.

76- up your ass lol

I think you do have a problem, time to go to a retox clinic!

Ashamed for choosing not to drink enough to damage your brain? I think you are the one who should be ashamed of yourself, #2

125 I bet you're the sober guy at the party ruining everyone's time by trying to talk them out of drinking cuz you can't handle alcohol

157 - I don't even go to parties, for Christ's sake!

Is she a blonde?

At least you don't have to be in the car as she drives home drunk

What's wrong with blondes?

132- there known to be stupid. You have yet to learn.

I'm not saying they are but many people say so...

135- They're* Filthy hypocrite.

you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel

My therapist Dr. Sam Adams really helped me, too. I no longer have a no drinking problem now.:3

or talk to his Old Grandad

Actually, contrary to popular belief, Dr. Four Loko is the most intelligent and professional of the bunch.

I just consult the grey geese at the local park for my problems or look to the skyy and ask the absolut one for advice.

I also hear Dr.Bacardi has experimented with 151 and has had real results. Try his cure

That's nothing. Sir Amstel experimented with light beers and later became Presidente of Coors Light.

I've heard nothing but good of Dr. Pepper.

I dont know about all your Doctors, but I've always spoken to General Jäger for his advice about bombs :)

Dr. C Morgan isnt half bad either

I heard that not drinking helps you live a longer life. Also, from abuse if alcohol consumption, you can damage your liver. The joke was over after the Jack Daniels one, losers.

@ 111 you need help from DR. Mike and his patented Mikes Hard Lemonade

all the doctors names you listed are better than my FORMER therapist, Dr. Thunder.

There’s this lady I go to called Stella Artois, she really helped me

She just wants to rape you when you're drunk off your ass, so she will live off of your child support for the next 18 years when she gets pregnant. You've just avoided her grand scheme. Good job.

Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. Some people don't even call that alcohol.

It's got like 2% so you'd have to drink 20 just to make it like a shot of vodka practically xD

actually it has just as much alcohol as a beer

actually even more than most beers!

actually it's 5% dipshit. you must be 16.

You drank a little too much bitch this morning, #69.

Hahahahahaha I know more 16 year olds that I can guarantee know more about alcohol than you.

Come chill with me, I'll teach you how to stand after downing a half gallon of vodka.

Wow. Well, that just shows she's too immature for you.

that sounds stupid to me, most girls have the opposite problem. I'll tell ya most girls don't no what they want and this is coming from a female

i couldn't have said it better myself

Solution, trash her house, drink all the booze, jerk off in her panties then run then burn the house down

And don't have sex if she's too gone. When it comes to condoms- put two on.

Because the mind of a woman is universal? Please, stop this nonsensical sophism.

Better off without her. You don't need a girl who drinks a ton to enjoy life.

girls who drink are girls who fuck