Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, I got disciplined for sleeping on night shifts, by my boss, who also sleeps on night shifts. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
BountyBass 13
Leeroy Jenkins!!!
waffule365 16
Raid bosses are really tough
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Comments (90)
HannaBeech 12
Even though you have insomnia, it's physically impossible to stay up for weeks at a time...
ColdplaySucks 18
I'm going to assume OP eventually got a little bit of sleep, but not after tossing and turning for hours first. Surely you really didn't think she was up all night for days.
HannaBeech 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, I was just saying. I'm sure it probably felt like weeks without sleep, but it was definitely an exaggeration
HarrisonVR 17
**** that man don't do it you don't deserve it. you have insomnia, tell your parents where to shove their chores. so unjust of them to do that.
perdix 31
How can you assault a veteran and a military hero? He took out a "raid boss" (I'm guessing that's a rank in Kim Jong-Un's army) to keep your freedom!
abirdgotshot 13
Just tell mom that his socks are always sticky for one reason or another, that will get some attention. Woohoo!
Grimnirwher9 21
You have an evil mind, abirdgotshot. I like that.
Life_is_FML 22
It's ok OP. At least you won't be the loser playing WoW at three in the morning. FYL
nyxiny 22
You would understand if you were in a progression guild right now. JUST SAYING. As both an insomniac and a WoW player. :D
corleon198425 22
Does you're brother have mental retardation?
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
The irony... YOU'RE a moron. It's "your" brother.
upallnight11 19
How can some people NOT get this? It isn't that hard!
Giluh 19
Ahh. Mothers love protecting and cradling their little nerd children. I know how you feel dude. I have a older nerd brother that stays up all night and yells at his computer and into his mic when he dies in a video game. Sooner or later im gonna smash his computer and tape his hands and mouth shut.
nanner42 13
Smoke weed
mkid232 15
He was up at 3 am and he didn't get in trouble? Seems like favoritism runs rampant with your asshat of a brother.