Legal issues

By Robert - 27/12/2017 15:00

Today, a judge ruled against me. I filed for divorce because my wife got pregnant even though I had a vasectomy. Apparently, not informing your spouse of a vasectomy is worse than cheating in the eyes of the court. FML
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Top comments

KrDizzy 16

I'm assuming she admitted to cheating or you took a paternity test because vasectomies are not always 100%.

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PhantomCrevan 8

I think there's an exact name for failure to inform about infertility due to surgical procedure, but I don't know for certain. It doesn't make her cheating on you okay, but never telling her you had a vasectomy does make you a huge jackass. Women have been sued for not disclosing infertility even when they found out through the marriage, so having a dick doesn't just give you a free pass to get away with the same thing, except willingly. You not only apparently took advantage of her thinking you were able to impregnate her, but you knowingly withheld the information that you couldn't from her- and it would be impossible for you to not know doing so was wrong. You took away her ability to decide that she would leave you to have a child, or to decide that she chose you over a child. Not to mention, if you were willing to lie about that, the judge has to assume that you are willing to lie about other matters. Get your head out of your ass- relationships are built on trust and you took a ******* sledgehammer to it when you had a vasectomy and never told her about it. If you had it before you started dating her, that entire relationship was a lie on your end. You both suck as human beings, but particularly at being good romantic partners.

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Comments

mssileas 25

Well everybody's going on and on about how marriage is about producing kids, so... yeah well, not being able to have any should be something you disclose to your partner in marriage. They're planning to spend their life with you, you'd think they should be informed of whether kids are in that picture or not. Basically, you both betrayed one another. Also, as someone mentioned before, vasectomies don't have 100% fool proof success rate. Could very well still be yours, and wouldn't that be a plot twist?

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faiona 13

I don't get why is everyone assuming they have no kids already? I find it much more likely that they already have 2/3/5 idk how many kids and he had a vasectomy 'cause he thought that's enough. Not that it excuses him for not telling his wife, but still, I think they're both assholes personally so it should be 50/50 if someone is to blame.

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ChibiChibi_fml 27

If she cheated than they are both assholes. The problem is that there is no actual proof of that. A pregnant wife after a vasectomy does not necessarily prove cheating. Vasectomy's can and have reversed themselves resulting in pregnant partners. Plus you are advised to wait 8-16 weeks before screwing without a condom or other birth control because there may still be sperm in the first few ejaculations. A person who doesn't tell their wife they have had a vasectomy is unlikely to have followed proper procedure in other ways. So without the OP having taken a paternity test, his wife admitting to cheating, or him getting a check up to make sure the procedure took, we can't definitely condemn the wife as a cheater. That's purely assumption. The fact that they OP didn't disclose the vasectomy though is there in the FML and is bad behavior that can be condemned.

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The_Khan 12

You are the man ! Unfortunalty, in divorce court, being "the man" means you lose.

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shredder133 14

Coming from my experience with a vasectomy, I have absolutely no idea how the person posting this was able to hide from his wife that he got a vasectomy. The recovery should’ve given him away in a heartbeat.

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ChibiChibi_fml 27

I'm wondering if he got the vasectomy before they married. If he did that would make the ruling make more sense because infertility is a valid grounds for divorce. There are women that have been sued by their spouses for not disclosing an inability to have children before marriage and have lost. It makes sense that it would work the other way as well. It seems bad but by not informing someone that you have had a vasectomy, or that you are aware you will never have children, you are selfishly taking the choice of having children out their hands. If they want kids, and you don't, that's fine but you should allow them to make the informed decision of whether or not having kids is a deal breaker for the relationship and allow them to do what they feel is best for them, which may mean finding a partner who will want children.

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Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wow, that is extremely messed up. Unfortunately, courts have always leaned more toward the woman's side. So sorry, OP. Although I didn't think you could just be denied a divorce these days, especially if cheating is involved.

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Rabite 28

How about you talk about birth control and having children or not in your marriage (and even quickly in any other sexual encounter)? Keeping a vasectomy a secret is not only bad if your spouse wants children, but also if they don't. Especially since your wife had to be on birth control, too. If she wasn't and you knew, you are shitty because you obviously agreed to have children. If you suspected that she was lying to you about it, doing the same isn't the right answer and your marriage was doomed anyways.

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