Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend, trying to prove to him that I was stronger. I did. He started crying. He then broke up with me because he couldn't be in a relationship in which his girlfriend was stronger than him. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He said yes, but is now sulking because I took away his "manhood". Jeez, sorry I didn't want to wait another 7 years for you to finally do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, I was on my period, so I felt a little emotional, and asked my boyfriend for some attention. He said he needed ten minutes to finish his game with his friend. I laid down on the floor and started crying hysterically. He broke up with me and left. FML
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Top comments
chanellgymnast 17
Sounds like he doesn't even have a manhood to begin with.
Hizodge 4
Third girl that week to deny him a BJ? I think there is something he isn't telling you.
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Comments (228)
chanellgymnast 17
Sounds like he doesn't even have a manhood to begin with.
TrueTriage 16
Well he has no pride as a man to begin with from the rest of this FML so I don't know what he's trying to prove
MermaidAnnariea 10
seriously. 1.) he cheated (or tried cheating), which should definitely take away man cards. and 2.) he's whining and crying about a ******* like a little bitch. OP, your boyfriend sounds like he's 12. and he cheated/tried cheating. he's obviously a shit bag, and you should probably dump him.
dinosaurzombie 14
Pun intended or not? ^
Pandasawr 10
He cheated and he's crying about a *******?? Dumb him pleaseee
Inciter 33
He's a cheating crybaby. I doubt he has any manhood at all.
ohgeejosee 19
I would tell him on to the fourth one!
Quinn32 16
Not to mention he shoved her off of him.
MoeT8979 8
Omg ABUSUSE!!!! STFU
Zyzz7 12
I know in this case the boyfriend is an asshole, but in more general terms, why would you refuse to give your boyfriend of 9 months a *******?
Wizardo 34
If near rape is what he needs to prove himself then get rid off him, not to mention the other slags that he tried it with...
Bloodjoker 11
Nothing says manliness like whining and rape ^_^
bfsd42 20
What do you mean near rape? Rejection and douchebaggery, mixed with a whiny cry-baby, does not equal rape on any level.
Wizardo 34
My bad I read it wrong, I thought the wasteman pinned OP down on the couch, still however, the guy is a massive prick so same thing.
jagott2 8
Just wondering...how exactly are the other girls slags in your mind? For those who don't know slag is a slang word meaning **** commonly used in Britain. So by your thinking if a guy goes up to a girl and propositions her she's a **** if she says no? I bet she's also a **** if she says yes or if she oh I don't know has the nerve to walk around with a ******. Seriously, what does it take for a girl to not be a **** according to your incredibly mature and intelligent 17 year old logic? Should she wear a bag over her head, 10 layers of clothing, never leave the house, and run away if anyone of the opposite gender looks like they're about to speak to her?
Wizardo 34
Aah, bloody hell I'm trying to give OP some ammunition to get rid of her boyfriend cos he's ridiculous and I'm trying to slag him off to, guys let's avoid a fire war; its FML here for Pete's sake, not Question Time.
9lashes 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
-108 what made those girls ***** was fooling around with a guy in a relationship if they didnt know then they arent *****
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#121- But we don't know if the girls did mess around with him. He says they DENIED him ********. So for all we know, that's all he asked for and they didn't fool around with him.
Luxord33 8
I agree. #108 you need to calm your **** gurl!!
nikcruise3271 6
Calm
nikcruise3271 6
This escalated way to quickly
Wimoweh 10
I shall take it upon myself to de-escalate the situation. Puppies.
Hizodge 4
Third girl that week to deny him a BJ? I think there is something he isn't telling you.
stevothedevo 25
Is that how those fires started on your head?
Bakarra 22
Those are candy corn...plus they're horns not fire...
tacojauns 45
What are you talking about? he just did
Bakarra 22
Why does it say I'm correct and thumbed down while the other is incorrect and thumbed up? Seems legit
SeedlessMe 13
Lmao @ 64.. I was just wondering that same thing. Idk wtf is going on here -_-
aok0989 10
It's because 20 is trying to be funny and then you had to be all serious. We know its candy corn, it was just a joke.
9lashes 15
-64 yes you are correct (: but as 113 explained it was just a joke dont feel bad though its hard to detect how things are meant on here sometimes (:
blink_kid 32
Yeah, or he forgot you're his girlfriend or something. Easily done.
BunnyRose 11
Exactly what I was thinking
Metal_Avenger 9
He sounds like an asshat.
stevothedevo 25
I thought Elephant-trunk hats were phased out..?
Talooka 10
That's what happens when you have a 9-month-old boyfriend...
Bakarra 22
It's a miracle she understands him in the first place, unless he's like a stewie griffin kind of case
samanthasammi 4
6-12 month olds shove every thing in their mouths!
shadowsorel 15
Squeeze one of his balls as hard as possible. If he cries, no manhood. :-)
lilhellian 27
:| Looks like it's time to go bra shopping..
Bakarra 22
7: So I should torture my girlfriend excruciatingly because she cheated? Your logic is impeccable!
twaumat 28
7. you are a moron, get one of your nuts squeezed and lets see if you'll still be a man.
Ukeee_X 19
If he needs to be unfaithful to prove his manhood, it's long gone.
hordriss 14
What a case he made for himself! Jeez, fucktards like him give blokes a bad name. I'd ditch him if I were you, he's clearly a cheating bastard and not at all serious about a relationship with you.
ammiblack 1
Wow, only little boys treat women like that.
asb818 14
Unfortunately, grown men acting like little boys also treat women like that.
stevothedevo 25
And your still with him?
stevothedevo 25
My bad.. Autocorrect. And that makes no sense to me..
Bakarra 22
He's trying to say YOU'RE a moron, and YOUR grammar is poor. Got it?
9lashes 15
-12 smh you're meaning you are and your meaning possession of. Ex: That's your phone. You're retarded.
stevothedevo 25
I'm so sorry.. I didn't realise we were in English class.
Bakarra 22
Nuh swett brah jus goe bak 2 ur swagyolo wayz inglsh 4 btchs n hoez NEwayz