Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
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Top comments
darth1 18
Wow, that's awful and hilarious.
NiCeGuY115 14
Your son really knows how to be blunt
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Comments (113)
hazardmuffin 21
Oh children. Gotta love 'em.
MidnaLink 33
I can only wonder where he learned that from. But still hilarious none the less.
mFUNdo21 17
dammit! post before mine got removed. this would make much more sense if it hadn't go ahead, thumb me down
spikekutter 9
now explain to her whats the difference between fingering and sex..
ksks1234 33
That is beyond a disgusting statement. The child is five, creep.
mFUNdo21 17
caution:pedobear identified
narkill 13
Well, it's true, can you blame him?
ifavela89 13
oh motherhood its full of moments like this
perdix 29
I'll bet everyone there would have chipped in to get your tubes tied on that visit.
King_paradox 22
Only perdix can make me laugh so much
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
I probably would have laughed to near tears had I heard that. You can always blame parents. But kids socialize in first grade, they watch, listen, observe and follow. Don't be so quick to judge. It's unhealthy.
UrYousername 15
Dick move, Andy. Dick move.
judemadebad 6
Ahh....isn't in convenient when kids wait to say the embarrassing things until you're actually out in public?
Potter_Head 10
Great story for later.
dancer4life143 13
If it makes you feel any better, my 11 year old cousin asked his mom what an ****** was the last time he was at the doctor haha kids say the funniest things