Intimacy, Family, Porn and Wanker: Keep out - FML

Keep out

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 13:57

Spicy

Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 114

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Dad, no, enough!

By Tooyoungforthis - 04/01/2013 00:34 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 572

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 20/03/2010 08:38 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 4 067

By graduate - 06/06/2009 13:17 - United States

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 964

You deserved it 7 611

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 1 334

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 00:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 555

You deserved it 19 438

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Murfreesboro

Spicy

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 526

You deserved it 5 066

By Anonymous - 24/03/2013 10:30 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 337

You deserved it 14 718

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Spicy

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 639

You deserved it 15 000

Red Right Hand

By Hollerz90 - 02/04/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 206

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 601

Next

Top comments

Warp1978 15

Monday 12 April 2021 16:31

Is the new one, deargoddadno1!

lukey101 23

Monday 12 April 2021 12:53

What’s he into?

Comments

cuz803 44

Sunday 11 April 2021 15:33

That's not good enough. You need a no trespassing sign that reads, "we don't call 911, we call the coroner" to fully secure your computer.

lukey101 23

Monday 12 April 2021 12:53

What’s he into?

Warp1978 15

Monday 12 April 2021 16:31

Is the new one, deargoddadno1!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I was working a concert ticket booth. A lady gave me her ticket, I punched it, and told her to enjoy the show. She asked for the “hotel.” Apparently, she thought that the concert ticket cost included a hotel stay, since she traveled from out of state. She cussed me out and had to be escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 456

You deserved it 1 104

Today, it's been a week since I flew to Scotland to attend a writer's retreat and then go to WorldCon to see friends and try and sell the book I just finished. I tested positive for Covid the first day of the retreat, and every day since. I already missed the retreat. Now it looks like I'll be missing the con, too. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 105

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 516

You deserved it 5 117

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 802

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 322