Health: Jesus! - FML

Jesus!

By claira - 08/10/2018 13:30

Spicy

Today, my mom made me take a pregnancy test since I missed my last 4 periods. It came back positive and my mom grounded me. I’ve never had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 842

You deserved it 398

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Same thing different taste

Unfair. Period.

By shanna - 23/05/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, after I missed my last 3 periods, my mom grounded me for "getting pregnant" and refuses to believe anything else. I'm 15 and never had sex in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 707

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 869

You deserved it 29 900

Jumping the gun

By kylie b - 06/09/2023 16:00

Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 94

By DemiRawrs - 01/05/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 662

You deserved it 4 709

Correlation?

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 06:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been experiencing hair loss. He insisted on a pregnancy test. My parents then grounded me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 94

By I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 37 929

By Anonymous - 25/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 688

You deserved it 28 873

Taking the piss

By allie - 31/05/2021 22:01

Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 107

Overreacting a tad

By I want out - 11/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents grounded me and told me I can forget about going to prom, Grad Bash, and getting a new car for graduation. My mom was cleaning my room and found a pack of condoms in my dresser drawer. Oh, and they made me call my boyfriend they didn’t know about to tell him it was over, on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 233

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 97

Next

Top comments

TomeDr 24

Monday 8 October 2018 15:04

Get to a doctor now. If you ARE pregnant, someone may have slipping you a date rape drug. If you’re NOT pregnant, the doctor can tell you why you’re getting a false positive.

Glowworm56 26

Monday 8 October 2018 13:41

Are you going to give birth to the Messiah now?

Comments

Vesi 29

Monday 8 October 2018 16:10

@OP I would definitely get to a doctor and quick. There are other things that can cause a false positive but if you were at a party or something and someone slipped you a micky, you may very well be the victim of rape. Please please get to a doctor and quickly.

acmariner99 25

Monday 8 October 2018 16:42

This isn’t the immaculate conception... get to a doctor, NOW!!!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 8 October 2018 16:49

Or, perhaps, you’re lying. Occam’s Razor: the simplest solution is often the best.

rodfergie 18

Monday 8 October 2018 20:44

I knew girl that said is a guy put it in and didn't move it wasn't considered sex. You never know what these kids have been told that they actually believe.

T1A2Z3 34

Tuesday 9 October 2018 7:57

The definition of sex is subjective

notalwaysbesta 14

Monday 8 October 2018 17:50

Not to scare you, but you may have a tumor. Please go to the doctor ASAP. My money is on a teratoma

adcf04619 8

Monday 8 October 2018 18:31

oh God it's the second coming.

burnforeternity 30

Monday 8 October 2018 18:53

It’s possible you were slipped something, and taken advantage of, or you could be having hormonal issues, either way, go to the doctor, get it figured out

Wadlaen 23

Monday 8 October 2018 21:58

I've read about a similar event in my bible...

Emily Hill 9

Monday 8 October 2018 22:09

Okay if you're not active but missed your Aunt Flo four times seek medical help that's not good

fjvitt 14

Monday 8 October 2018 23:00

Get checked out by a doctor ASAP if you haven’t been laying doctor. There are hormonal conditions that could cause this besides pregnancy.

TheSminty1 17

Monday 8 October 2018 23:26

Last time that happened we had the dark ages

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The Top

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 800

You deserved it 21 260

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 103

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 341

You deserved it 5 974

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 450

You deserved it 3 244

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 206

You deserved it 5 565

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 3 126

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 3 634