Sex, Farts and Intimacy: It's getting hot in here - FML

It's getting hot in here

By cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 9 440

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By gassygirlfriend - 10/05/2015 08:40 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 040

You deserved it 5 127

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 6 511

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 443

You deserved it 806

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 187

You deserved it 4 636

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 728

You deserved it 36 349

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 386

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 105

You deserved it 41 480

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Spicy

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 294

You deserved it 3 867

Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 235

You deserved it 11 604

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 904

You deserved it 4 189

Next

Top comments

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

Comments

chrisisawesome13 0

Monday 30 April 2012 20:57

True love

CptZoe 10

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:11

Routine gets boring. Lesson learned.

hannaherhoads 0

Thursday 23 August 2012 5:53

That's funny :)

damoki 8

Wednesday 10 October 2012 1:30

Bahahaha!! I love the name! That sucks man but at least she has a sense of humor!

dontevenask0416 3

Tuesday 30 October 2012 14:30

Hahahahaha I love your wife!!!!

cmb8280 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:55

LMFAO Your wife is funny!!

kayseejay21 1

Friday 8 November 2013 3:23

Divorce is the only answer

goliatron 9

Sunday 1 December 2013 19:11

Honeymoon phase is over!

Rosbaugh 7

Tuesday 8 April 2014 21:09

that's funny

momo3p 22

Thursday 17 December 2015 4:33

That's pretty ******* funny

Keywords

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The Top

Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML

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You deserved it 67

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The Top

Today, my high school decided to practice graduation outside for 4 hours instead of inside, as well as serve lunch outside. Now everybody, including myself, is going to be sunburnt in their graduation pictures, because we were told practice was inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 502

You deserved it 402

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 4 622

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 3 380

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 876

You deserved it 8 761

Today, my son's obsession with memes hit a new low when he got suspended from school for running into other students yelling, "Allahu akbar." He's 15 and doesn't understand why he got in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 883

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 535

You deserved it 19 396