Today, while I was reading in a park, a drunk bum started talking to me. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he said, "You're really pretty, and you have nice eyes, but you have chubby cheeks. What's up with that? Did you eat a lot of peanuts when you were a kid or something?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML
Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML
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Top comments
hunterseal 18
I think it's best not to worry what an intoxicated and homeless person has to say, and I would avoid conversations with the homeless who are intoxicated if I were you.
jfsiv 17
seems like a logical conclusion.
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Comments (11)
inappropes 31
well, did you?
jfsiv 17
seems like a logical conclusion.
hunterseal 18
I think it's best not to worry what an intoxicated and homeless person has to say, and I would avoid conversations with the homeless who are intoxicated if I were you.
sweetbliss3 37
he just wanted someone to talk to. no big deal.
hunterseal 18
I don't think talking to the homeless in general is dangerous, but intoxicated can ( like anyone ) be dangerous. Most homeless are irrational already due to mental illness and drugs. You just always have to be careful and avoid dangerous situations
RichardPencil 32
Is it ok to talk to drunk bums again? Maybe we can give hitch-hiking another try and letting kids go outside to play.
Talented73 54
Was he referring to the cheeks on your face or the cheeks on your ass?
mt21mt 15
This is one of those times when FML needs a "so what?" button...
Talented73 54
That's okay, my GF's cheeks usually look puffy when she has nuts in her mouth.
tonyfan00 38
He's asking the REAL questions here!
tolkien897 15
I'm part chipmunk, really. I store the food in my cheeks.