Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
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Top comments
Laterial 3
Gotta love Zombieland!
frutoish 0
That's what got me going. Gotta survive the zombie apocalypse.
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Comments (343)
THE_CAPTAIN654 0
Zombieland!! "Rule #2: Cardio- the fat ones go first."
cash_monkey72 9
Cardio was rule #1 idiot
cash_monkey72 9
Sorry, didn't mean to be such a douche. I was tired and pissed off at the world. Just don't be that poor fat bastard.
KeNzLe13 0
Lmao. I love Zombieland:D
leezach 7
Rule number one: cardio.
anevil_carrot 0
Zombieland was f**in Amazing! RUN Forest Run!
nick821 0
Gotta love zombieland
Residence_fml 4
What seriously? You do know that zombies can't exist for loads of reasons. But of course that is silly talk so let's just assume they can. Be the hell as slow as you want to be you just need to get in with the good crowd, the fast ones, the killers. As long as you know about other important stuff like medicine, or growing vegetables etc. you will be protected as people need you and you will not be killed! But being in shape so you can smash zombie heads in might help too.
bswole 1
at least your motivated
eloheljeykeh 0
First rule: Cardio
TheNewGuy03 29
well, it is rule #1. how could you be so naïve? :o
yummcookie 0
So your motivation is so you don't die? Sounds perfect!