Healthy Lifestyle, TV shows, Movies and Health: Inspiring

Inspiring

By indierocklove - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 738

You deserved it 8 936

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ready, steady…

By dan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 675

You deserved it 9 154

Gym bro

By kaplwv116 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 41 205

By dumbo - 30/07/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 876

You deserved it 18 911

Back to square one

By nurseITHINKNOT - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 797

You deserved it 3 947

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 465

You deserved it 4 540

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 108

You deserved it 6 735

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 354

You deserved it 28 772

Debate perverts

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 634

You deserved it 960

By stressedartist - 09/09/2016 12:43 - United States

Today, I ran over Oprah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 70

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

Laterial 3

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:08

Gotta love Zombieland!

frutoish 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:07

That's what got me going. Gotta survive the zombie apocalypse.

Comments

Mishal_fml 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:29

Zombieland? Haha

kaylapple 1

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:30

whatever helps...

starkiller731 2

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:31

Zombieland?

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:35

Www.zombiefit.org

scatch 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:39

Hahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaa

frankwolf86 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:42

good job man now prep ur zombie survival gear just in case

simpson12395 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:42

Haha fatty.

JPLovesAnimals 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:50

Sure. But eventually you die. I'd rather be spared the horror. Anyway. Keep at it(:

ThatLovelyGeek 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:50

What does the vegitarian zombie say?GRAINSSSSD

6h043chrusha69 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 3:53

The fatties were the first to go!!! Zombieland !!

Keywords

Animals Cute Cats Family Sex Intimacy Awkward Coworkers Work Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Love AITA Relationship advice Weird Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents Birthday Dogs Cake Embarrassing Transportation Cars Cooking

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 163

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 145

You deserved it 11 901

The Top

Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 051

You deserved it 33 021

Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 608

You deserved it 1 423

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 240

You deserved it 16 309

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 418

You deserved it 4 742

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 402

You deserved it 3 479

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 273

You deserved it 2 887

Same thing different taste

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