Healthy Lifestyle, TV shows, Movies and Health: Inspiring

Inspiring

By indierocklove - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 738

You deserved it 8 936

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ready, steady…

By dan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 675

You deserved it 9 154

Gym bro

By kaplwv116 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 41 205

By dumbo - 30/07/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 876

You deserved it 18 911

Back to square one

By nurseITHINKNOT - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 797

You deserved it 3 947

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 465

You deserved it 4 540

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 108

You deserved it 6 735

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 354

You deserved it 28 772

Debate perverts

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 634

You deserved it 960

By stressedartist - 09/09/2016 12:43 - United States

Today, I ran over Oprah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 70

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

Laterial 3

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:08

Gotta love Zombieland!

frutoish 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:07

That's what got me going. Gotta survive the zombie apocalypse.

Comments

WCARlover 34

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:46

Motivation is motivation:)

pivotmasterDM1 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:53

-insert cool line from zombieland here-

langer3416 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:47

Did it happen to be zombieland?? Rule #1 cardio

maddie2015 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:55

Hahahahahah!

RainbowFormation 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:56

That's an intresting motivation :)

ajohnston2012 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:57

Zombieland :D

JesterMarcus 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 0:57

Remember everyone, when the shit goes down, head to Walmart! Sweet now all of you will kick the bucket in the first week leaving me to the spoils.

JesterMarcus 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 1:01

Remember everyone, when the shit goes down, head to Walmart! Sweet now all of you will kick the bucket in the first week leaving me to the spoils.

Fadeintoyou 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 1:02

ZOMBIELAND!:)

SnifflyG 9

Thursday 4 August 2011 1:02

If the world has to end, i want it to be a zombie invasion. hitting those bastards in the face with base ball bats =] u guys gotta team up with meh

cdninf 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 5:21

Yeah, until they rip you apart while you're still alive.

cdninf 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 5:24

And u think you mean Zombie apocalypse! Zombies ain't gonna fly here from Norway or anything :) Take care bud.

ZeroShinigami666 14

Thursday 4 August 2011 1:09

make sure to double tap

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Family Relatable Racism Love Kids AITA Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Psychology Mental health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 937

The Top

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 611

Today, I found myself in the unenviable position of buying tampons, chocolate, ice cream, and condoms for a woman I’m in love with, but am not dating. She asked me to get them since I was going to the shops anyway. I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 368

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still available. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 4 809

Today, a friend posted a photo on Facebook of a meal with all of our other friends. The same meal they'd told me just yesterday had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 053

You deserved it 897

Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no response I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 076

You deserved it 17 097

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 596

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments