Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
My eyes watered up just from reading this.
KingAdrock 16
One can be circumcised AND have an intact frenulum. Likely your girlfriend is just careless/stupid.
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Comments (28)
RichardPencil 32
You need to Frenulum Zone her!
Linda Mau 10
talk about life changes... I think you should change that part of your life... get a new girlfriend... one who knows how to touch a willy
TheSminty1 17
With frenulems like that who needs frenemies?
BEEEEES 15
You need more credit than you've gotten for this
Zachary Bryant 4
the more you know. found that there is a frenulum in your mouth too. helps with the tongue
Joseph Remington Rayburn 7
I've been there too man. Not enough lubricant is what I was told by the doctor.
Takegami 22
Haha, I never got to deal with that. Or smeg.
Mungolikecandy 19
When you asked her to pull you off little did you realise she would try just that!
WHSKitty4ever 23
My ex tried to claim that he would need surgery bc “I bit him.” Two things wrong with that: 1) I’ve NEVER bitten a guy during a BJ. Ik better. 2) if I had bitten him, wouldn’t he have said “ow/ouch” during the act?
superchick35 2
I had a guy be so careless he did it to himself
RODDS164 4
now im hella concern about my dick ;(