Intimacy and Health: Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd...

By moerae - 03/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 898

You deserved it 625

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Same thing different taste

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 957

You deserved it 12 236

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 600

You deserved it 7 715

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 938

You deserved it 5 819

Damper

By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 475

You deserved it 6 819

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 410

By stubby - 20/01/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 011

You deserved it 486

Skinny love

By Too much skin? - 18/02/2018 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 681

You deserved it 381

By Dxxk Biter - 20/02/2018 06:00

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 190

You deserved it 704

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 748

You deserved it 1 181

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 968

You deserved it 62 450

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 24 September 2018 3:45

My eyes watered up just from reading this.

KingAdrock 16

Wednesday 3 October 2018 4:21

One can be circumcised AND have an intact frenulum. Likely your girlfriend is just careless/stupid.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 October 2018 17:30

You need to Frenulum Zone her!

Linda Mau 10

Wednesday 3 October 2018 20:03

talk about life changes... I think you should change that part of your life... get a new girlfriend... one who knows how to touch a willy

TheSminty1 17

Wednesday 3 October 2018 20:16

With frenulems like that who needs frenemies?

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 4 October 2018 17:12

You need more credit than you've gotten for this

Zachary Bryant 4

Thursday 4 October 2018 1:14

the more you know. found that there is a frenulum in your mouth too. helps with the tongue

Joseph Remington Rayburn 7

Thursday 4 October 2018 3:25

I've been there too man. Not enough lubricant is what I was told by the doctor.

Takegami 22

Thursday 4 October 2018 21:00

Haha, I never got to deal with that. Or smeg.

Mungolikecandy 19

Friday 5 October 2018 7:41

When you asked her to pull you off little did you realise she would try just that!

WHSKitty4ever 23

Tuesday 9 October 2018 10:28

My ex tried to claim that he would need surgery bc “I bit him.” Two things wrong with that: 1) I’ve NEVER bitten a guy during a BJ. Ik better. 2) if I had bitten him, wouldn’t he have said “ow/ouch” during the act?