Painful and Health: I hate it here

I hate it here

By ElaborateScheme - 14/08/2016 20:52 - United States - Palm Beach Gardens

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 834

You deserved it 1 151

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By drewB - 12/08/2019 10:00 - United States

Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 148

By NotJoeyEssex - 26/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was so lonely and bored, I thought about making the most of our current heatwave by giving myself heatstroke, just so I could talk to a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 1 143

Australia? Australia.

By ReptillianFreeloader - 13/02/2017 11:00 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 192

You deserved it 658

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 057

You deserved it 10 552

The climate is whack

By fax4voice3 - 03/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Greenwich

Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 207

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 166

You deserved it 36 787

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 064

You deserved it 3 101

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 712

You deserved it 8 061

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 472

You deserved it 13 949

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 11:36 - United States - Hockessin

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 2 373

lovebooks07 15

Monday 5 September 2016 7:10

You did bite it back, right?

CMYKorBust 7

Monday 5 September 2016 7:19

You should have gotten a nose ring as well. Although a belly piercing wouldnt be bad.

Comments

gardening 17

Monday 5 September 2016 13:57

Erm hospital?

captainsmegma 12

Monday 5 September 2016 16:41

Move out of the sticks.

jg23 7

Monday 5 September 2016 20:00

At least it wasn't mosquitos! Wouldn't want to risk zika

Nerd14 9

Monday 5 September 2016 22:24

As a Floridian, I have to say that there's nothing nice about living here.

mattyiscool123 26

Tuesday 6 September 2016 2:42

What part of Florida is that?

zyero 9

Tuesday 6 September 2016 18:19

Every part of Florida that isn't a beach. Lived there for 15 years, moved as far away as humanly possible from that hell hole, never regretted it. Literally every other state has a better economy and is less likely to try and murder you for breathing.

sirdannyboy1 20

Tuesday 6 September 2016 5:16

And after a few days of immense pain, the snake(s) died.

zyero 9

Tuesday 6 September 2016 18:16

There's a reason from native Americans exiled from their tribes due to crimes or what not were sent to live there, as a former resident let me say this much. The beaches you see In all the spring break ads? Yeah that's about 10% of the state, the other 90% is a swamp where every thing Mother Nature can throw at you (from sink hole to mosquitos) is trying to kill you or eat you or implant its larva in your still living body or recently deceased corpse. Not sure why we chose to colonize that waste land but I'm sure as hell glad I'm out, I'd say fyl but with two snake bites as a local Floridian? Let me guess you were walking around in the brush in shorts and a flip flops like a ingenious local? Either that or you were not Paying a lick of attention to where you were going. Even the water moccasins you can tell where they are by the ungodly stench of rotten eggs that seems to follow them wherever they go, albiet you get to close and those ******* will chase you down. Unless you were swimming and got bit By a moccasin I'd say YDI, if you did get bit by a moccasin, then props on living long enough to tell about it and fyl.