Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat!" I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML
Today, as I returned from work, a cat was meowing at me in a bush. I said hi to it and walked inside. Then I noticed one of my cats was nowhere to be found. After a bit of panicking, I finally figured out that cat in the bush was MY cat, and he was meowing because he was stuck. I don't know how he got outside. FML
Today, my cat got out. I was chasing him in the field behind my backyard, barefoot while wearing PJs, yelling my head off like a raving lunatic. The field soil was sludge, and my feet sunk right in with every step. After I got him, I heard a snap of a soda can. My neighbours were there the whole time, watching. FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I'd seen her cat. I helped her search the hallway, basement, and garden for 30 minutes. We finally found it sitting inside my apartment, where I had apparently been living with it for three days without noticing. FML
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DasHaas 9
Glasses, perhaps?
aback 5
A bag of sand makes an excellent pet.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
prshusl0l 0
YDI FOR HAVING POOR VISION
leushqua 2
lay off the drugs dude
ohFawkYou 0
HAHAHA :D
good_life35 0
YDI for the sick innuendos.
milkypops 0
should've gone to specsavers.
MiniatureMayhem 0
Did it meow?
MiniatureMayhem 0
I've mistaken a log in my backyard for a bear, and that was worse because I started screaming for help and freaking out. Sooo... yeah.
RKftw 0
at least you didnt say WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT!
waterynuggets 0
This site definitely need a "Who gives a shit" option
lo_k 0
realise?.... Hmm... I'm positive it's "realize" so... YDI
DisposableHeroes 0
Dude..."realise" is for british english "realize" is for american