Health: Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in...

By ckatia - 30/08/2016 09:29 - France - Paris

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 774

You deserved it 2 229

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Same thing different taste

That's you that is

By K.H - 26/10/2009 16:42 - Sweden

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 6 044

By himtopia19 - 03/03/2009 00:09 - United States

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 659

You deserved it 16 440

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 240

Hiya!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2009 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat!" I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 859

You deserved it 40 699

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 264

You deserved it 3 584

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 601

You deserved it 4 597

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 17 436

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 858

You deserved it 4 149

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 3 688

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 748

You deserved it 5 110

Tarlachia 33

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:34

Own it like you're awesome and you know it. Take a sharpie and draw a cat's face on it, sit down on the ground and pet the kitty. Be sure to meow in reply to yourself for bonus points!

takeittoem 8

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:43

At least it wasn't a porcupine or a skunk....

Comments

Tarlachia 33

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:34

Own it like you're awesome and you know it. Take a sharpie and draw a cat's face on it, sit down on the ground and pet the kitty. Be sure to meow in reply to yourself for bonus points!

Momperella 5

Tuesday 30 August 2016 22:57

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I was already laughing, but that made me laugh even harder, #1! That would totally happen to me too. I forgot to wear my glasses to work today. I didn't see any plastic bag kitties tho.

nesteremily 31

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:35

I'd say it's time for glasses..or new ones if you already have them.

Colon_Man 17

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:37

Better than walking up to a badger. An albino badger...

bandaidstations 28

Tuesday 30 August 2016 18:45

I did this same thing as a toddler. Ran right up to the sleeping cat on the steps...except it was an opossum. Just laid there and let me pet it's head until my gramps came outside yelling at me and scared it.

takeittoem 8

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:43

At least it wasn't a porcupine or a skunk....

kaitlyn520 13

Tuesday 30 August 2016 16:50

Don't sweat it OP! Maybe just schedule an appointment for some glasses? You'll be as good as new(:

tigerthepredator 16

Tuesday 30 August 2016 17:04

Eye doctor.

stryder9090 28

Tuesday 30 August 2016 17:08

Do you happen to be 87 years old?

Fuxxxer 11

Tuesday 30 August 2016 17:14

YDI for not having glasses. you stupid little bitch

Khaleesi_D 9

Tuesday 30 August 2016 17:43

I once freaked out because there was a bear in someones yard, they aren't common around here but sometimes you see one on someone's game camera or in something, so I'm freaking out cause there's a freaking bear, and it's a small bear, and we passed the house mom we have to go back. About that time my mom realized I need glasses because it was a stump, there never was a bear.