Health, Sex, Embarrassing and Intimacy: Heartless swine

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 009

You deserved it 4 378

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Same thing different taste

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 4 018

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 617

You deserved it 4 101

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 387

You deserved it 4 229

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 074

You deserved it 6 437

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 3 242

Oh hi!

By showerstupid - 04/04/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 624

You deserved it 44 802

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 118

Alexa, play "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye

By notsosexy - 18/07/2020 08:01

Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 815

You deserved it 3 838

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 740

You deserved it 20 684

Aspen_Grace33 27

Tuesday 15 September 2015 15:50

Guess he was just that good in bed!!! On a more serious note, I'm hoping you're doing well.

TrustStolen 16

Tuesday 15 September 2015 15:53

he was probably just proud of himself that he could do that? I guess I'm trying to see the positive side of this

Comments

ApplePie1994 27

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:23

"When your legs don't work like they used to before..."

Jowisee 29

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:32

"And I can't sweep you off of your feet"

xmislysx 10

Tuesday 15 September 2015 21:32

will your mouth still remember the taste of my love ☺️☺️

liv1222 29

Wednesday 16 September 2015 1:04

"Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?"

ApplePie1994 27

Wednesday 16 September 2015 1:11

And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70 :L

iAlissa 34

Wednesday 16 September 2015 7:11

Holy shit I thought it was 17 not 70. Guess I need to open my ears

alwaysstabbing 19

Wednesday 16 September 2015 13:47

you broke the chain

mottos 13

Wednesday 16 September 2015 16:34

You guys were on a roll...

ApplePie1994 27

Friday 18 September 2015 0:35

BOO! :P

berkeleyjake 13

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:29

how do you know he laughed if you were unconscious ?

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 7 October 2019 0:31

which is the question I had. people on this site are so determined to try and build that karma that they don't even think about the idiocy of some of the stuff that gets posted here.

jaragatha 3

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:34

Damn

lulinator 40

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:35

Sorry, but I totally would have laughed too. He did a good job if your legs were that weak though.

captainsmegma 12

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:37

You were rode hard and rode well.

bad_boyfriend 10

Tuesday 15 September 2015 16:43

I had a girlfriend get out of bed after sex and get a cramp in her foot that caused her to fall and hit her head. Just be happy you didn't knock yourself out and have to go to the hospital. No one believes you didn't hit the girl with the giant lump on her head and the concussion.