Kids: Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2013 22:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 872

You deserved it 2 500

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Same thing different taste

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 233

You deserved it 3 444

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 104

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 161

I would do anything for my kids

By Claus - 07/10/2023 22:00

Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 147

By We raised that fool - 06/08/2014 13:21 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 342

You deserved it 4 034

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 12 605

It was wild

By TheHangoverPart4 - 07/09/2022 00:30 - Australia - Waurn Ponds

Today, it was my daughter's 11th birthday party. One kid broke a vase, another lost a (baby) tooth, and two kids, including mine, tested positive for Covid. My kid parties harder than I ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 285

By bunkbed - 30/08/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 3 876

Sorry kiddo

By BrandNewKadillak - 30/04/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 131

You deserved it 11 353

Karma

By Loser - 08/06/2018 01:30

Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jump off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 4 390

Ishq786 12

Thursday 31 January 2013 7:58

'I believe I can fly...'

rkmn8r 6

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:11

yolo: you only land once

Comments

Ishq786 12

Thursday 31 January 2013 7:58

'I believe I can fly...'

K92 13

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:39

I think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away ...

sens3sfailing 24

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:45

I believe I can soar...but I think the girl ran into a not open door...

yoyoforpeace 14

Thursday 31 January 2013 9:52

Lets be thankful that OP's daughter chose a slide as her first take off spot and not a balcony.

Joshmokahontas 6

Thursday 31 January 2013 12:19

Trolled at age 8. It begins

meagann01 4

Friday 1 February 2013 5:07

Pulllll Uppppp *Cut the music*

thefmlman2011 36

Sunday 31 January 2016 8:25

dont sink, don't sink.

BigL99 20

Thursday 31 January 2013 7:58

Hmm well how about that.

Cian_1 28

Thursday 31 January 2013 9:29

Yes, what about it? Pray, do tell.

boofgall 16

Thursday 31 January 2013 9:40

A funny story far in the future :)

BigL99 20

Friday 1 February 2013 7:44

Ah #20 if I'm not mistaken I see what you did there.

asherm 15

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:04

Fy daughter's life. Your son is mean

Trai 6

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:09

Yeah, I heard the same thing. Unfortunately I've gotta wait for my 21st birthday. Guess mine just came along a little bit later.

rkmn8r 6

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:11

yolo: you only land once

mistercrow 9

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:19

I think your children need counseling. ._.

untouchable763 10

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:21

What are big brothers for really other then this.

coolboy675 16

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:24

Sounds like your son's a ****. He'd be a real one if he could fly though.

sens3sfailing 24

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:50

Wait...your telling me cocks can fly? Mine is extremely unimpressive then if they are supposed to fly! And oh yeah, the world record for a chicken in flight is 13 seconds if that was what you were trying to say....so they still don't really "fly"

GingerNinja7 17

Thursday 31 January 2013 8:26

Wait, you don't?! I'd better correct my little brother before he kills himself, i say him walking with a ladder and an umbrella a few minutes after I told him this was true..