Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, a much older guy hit on me with the line, "Hey, Gen Z boss in a mini!" Ew, get away grampa. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML
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Top comments
protoskore 27
I hope you accidentally poured your drink down the front of his pants, OP
protoskore 27
Are you by any chance related to that catholic cardinal who said recently he wasn't aware child molestation is a crime?
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Comments (27)
Mr_Mole 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I’m not saying that behaviour is acceptable, but perhaps if you hadn’t been ignorant then it may not have happened.
Selene1090 26
If someone ignores you, that usually means "leave me alone" not, "Please rub your dick on me"
protoskore 27
Are you by any chance related to that catholic cardinal who said recently he wasn't aware child molestation is a crime?
sparklyre 6
"You are female? Then anything bad that happens is your fault. If you'd engaged with him, I'd be saying you should've just ignored him, engaging with him was encouragement."
Mortoli 30
no engagement isnt encouragement flirting is. saying hi is a basic human decency. its not like he was asking a next to impossible question I mean damn. if he starts flirting just tell him your not interested.
ThatGuy9679 13
ironic
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
you just contradicted your own statement idiot
protoskore 27
I hope you accidentally poured your drink down the front of his pants, OP
RichardPencil 32
Is that how courtship rituals are working these days? Good to know!
Mortoli 30
i mean i understand hating him for that but at same time. you could have been nice/decent and said hi back. all the guy said was hi. its not like he started asking a next to impossible quiz type question to get the mood going. and if you didnt want to talk all you had to do was politely say hi get through basic questions but then say im sorry im here with a friend etc etc...so yeah.
Tiny Terror 19
Or, she could've done what she did. Women don't owe men their time.
Mortoli 30
of course they dont, but being a bitch isnt called for at least not for someone trying to be nice or flirty. its not like they're taking away precious time from someone when they're just sitting there drinking it doesnt hurt to say hi how are you...granted i guess its not as bad as the guy that said hi to one bitch and she went off on him yelling sexual harassment and threatening to call the cops. but saying nothing almost as rude. mind you in his shoes i wouldnt want to touch someone like that with a 10 foot stick. lol. although i can understand if you're shy or antisocial but a simple wave is so much simpler to them.
Ed Munson 14
Just a "hi" used t be a common courtesy, but now it is so age and gender filtered that nobody can just reply with a simple acknowledgement of "hello". Did he say he wanted anything more that made her think he was hitting on her, or was a serial killer? I just wish we could all be nice to each other and not have to be intentionally rude. Rubbing the junk, however, deserved a shot with a taser!
Mortoli 30
completely agree. this age is just stupid. you hear about the woman that yelled sexual harassment to guy that said hi, i think they were neighbors lol, and threatened to call cops.
AcieMcG 21
Found the ‘nice guy’ guys 🙄
Juraj Repinac 5
If girls today weren't so uppity and roll their eyes at every "hi" turned to their direction, perhaps guys wouldn't be so angry or desperate as to resort to such idiotic measures. Sadly, it's not OP's fault, but I believe most guys are just tired of constantly being rejected simply because they're male and interested.
Matt Much 12
Maybe I'm off base here but I don't understand the blame the victim role. I am perfectly comfortable ignoring people I don't wish to talk to, even if it's only a "hi." Frankly, I don't see how the OP or myself owe anyone anything.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Much older guys can be creepy!
Rabite 28
But how are they supposed to flirt in this age anymore???
Juraj Repinac 5
They're not. It seems that, in modern world, guys should all just be silent and accept that their right to choose is over. ******* double standards.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
please you decked the old ****
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
i meant to say "please I hope you decked the ****"
fde2blknimout 18
Next time you won’t be rude and actually acknowledge a person. Your majesty