Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
danaloren 3
just hope she dies first (:
youliketacos 0
Old people, they say the darnest things!
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Comments (91)
cynide 13
can you spell Monster in law?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
*copies off of your comment* Yes! :D
MrSassypants 33
15 I viewed your profile and you have 0 comments... O_o *in Shaggy's voice from Scooby-doo* like this is some freaky shit man!
swittig 0
^explain this bullshit!
katynkayy 0
FREAKY. O.o
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Yeah I don't know why it says that, I've been on FML for awhile O_o
lilmisslovely13 15
ahaha!!! that's really funny and this made my day!!!!!!!
jillianmathers12 13
Over protective much?!
jacob4848 4
Got to love the crazy old people.
txgirl2013 14
Cranky Old people are so cute
MrSexyPants 14
And so is that kitty. :D
Jacobt24 19
I thought it was a fox?
mk58 31
Oh they're sophisticated alright. *eye roll*
SteelCladAngel 0
that's just what I was thinking
emsiti 6
she wants her bingo money!
Brittnaahh 3
wtf? o.o
franceypants 0
... talk about "cute old ladies" !!
cdabomm326 0
she means business. Well now you know he's got an amount worth protecting. ;)