Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
danaloren 3
just hope she dies first (:
youliketacos 0
Old people, they say the darnest things!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
Gman53 0
Wow
lifeisabitchandy 2
I ain't sayin she's a gold digger but she ain't messin with no broke n*gger
Enigmax2514 7
haha I love ur bf's family , the typical " mature and tactful parents with the blunt and cute grandma " family always crack me up gotta love his grandma
J35511333 0
leave him. it's only going to get worse and you will feel like shit because of them. if they raised one if his parents then think of how he has been raised. do you really want that? trust me!
Mach10 0
I LOVE YOU TOO, GRAMMA!
taazer 12
what does she think your gonna kill him with poison or what to get his money? I LIKE HER THINKING! ;)
DKjazz 20
No snappy comeback to that one, eh?
chottu 16
You live in Australia, yes? Over here you need to be a nominated beneficiary in order to collect death benefit/life insurance. The nominated beneficiary isn't notified that they are the beneficiary until after the person with insurance dies. You can only take life insurance out for yourself, so how would his grandparents even know that he has life insurance let alone who was the nominated beneficiary?
fat_bastard_607 0
"keep talking to me like that, and you're gonna have an unfortunate accident, gramma. "
cupcake567 0
looks like he's had some gold digging girlfriends in the past.