Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
danaloren 3
just hope she dies first (:
youliketacos 0
Old people, they say the darnest things!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
danaloren 3
just hope she dies first (:
The_Weirdo 10
Oh no, you see, they already put the insurance on him, and they're afraid of competition.
whiskuit 0
Well if she dies first, they're not getting a f*cking cent of her insurance money, you hear?!
Keyman1212 14
Old wealthy people are particular about their money.
KingGeorgeGal 12
Well, isn't that a pleasant introduction?(:
MrSassypants 33
1 you kinda just told someone to hope an old lady dies and then you put a smiley face. O_o
youaregay12345 0
I hope you die first
manMadeFAIL 7
cant blame the for be protective..
yummycupkake 0
you should have responded with "let's be honest here, granny, does it really matter? you'll only be able to enjoy the money for give or take 3 years."
chessypie 0
hell ya you got that right!!!!!!
GreenMaze 0
Tell her your NOT married to him yet.
Pawned71 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA THE FIRST COMMENT RULES!!!
Tektite 14
LOL! Best first comment.
PetiteLady 4
When grandma is not looking, rub-off grandpa. You'll be a beneficiary whether you marry your boyfriend or not. Not bad pay for 2 minutes work.
Lumenoire 0
Well, it's better than them saying, "I say, our grandson is dating all kinds of riff-raff these days!"
Ahkoifish 0
Quite classy of them!
NoodleBurger 0
I seriously hate old people.
vistamar 3
Haha i know right! God they need to chill out! Besides, who introduces themselves that way?!
gmc_blossom 21
52- *You're.
incrapper 7
everyone liked what u said cuz ur cute, f**k it I did the same I liked the pic not the comment
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Yea she dies first..-_-
BeatlesObsessed 12
Wow, grandpa needs to chill.
BeatlesObsessed 12
grandma *
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
its always good to be upfront...
destr0yer 7
sounds like a bitch
karmennn 0
op should have put: "sophisticated"
wrigleys 4
meh, i like both ways
GrahamAker 3
why should u? your not married. unless he claims you to be a beneficary you don't get a dime.
swittig 0
OP wasn't trying to get anything. she's just making the point that his grandma was being a bitch.
rarrar321 3
....are you the grandma?
Creamysweeps 5
for some reason I read Graham as grandma and I was like holy crap 74 is right
BuhZinga 2
The real question here, GrahamAker, is why would the grandma assume op was after insurance money? Is the boyfriend in some kind of high risk career with excellent insurance benefits? Maybe he's in the military? If so that's something op should have mentioned. The way it's written now makes it seem like grandma's expecting little Johnny to croak at any moment...
ethang1996 0
or his parents have money and have quite a bit of life insurance on him.
youcantwin 8
thats wrong =[
bag0305 3
dude that is so true!
flockz 19
their plain white shoes scare me....
willbruton_ 0
Grandma's can be psycho.
youliketacos 0
Old people, they say the darnest things!
daAce77 8
She's on to you!!
iDONTNO54 0
EPIC WIN!
wdfcrystal 6
Sounds like THEY want the insurance money.
Leftieswillrule 3
what grandparents plan on getting insurance money from their grandkids?that's ****** up
bentleysdad11611 0
I agree with 81 i mean if your a grandparent why would you even begin to think about outliving our grandchild ? granny was just saying u better be here for the right reason but she proly could've approached it a little differently
wdfcrystal 6
Iunno, there are some pretty effed up people in the world, though~
EricHassli94 4
Golddigger!
sourgirl101 28
I was thinking the same thing. Perhaps the grandfather believes you're "only" dating his grandson to be with him to share the inherence when he does die. Or perhaps I'm just looking too deep into crazy talk! Lol