Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
danaloren 3
just hope she dies first (:
youliketacos 0
Old people, they say the darnest things!
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Comments (91)
SleepOnStones 5
Yeah, Grandma sounds really sophisticated.
edgarme85 0
hahahahaha yeah they looked through you pretty quickly
KeevaH 10
Hahaha you should've said 'Meh you probably wont live long enough to get any either'
Epikouros 31
Sophisticated Australians? What were their ancestors deported for? Stealing silver fish forks? Wedgewood china?
bannaboo120356 6
Anyone else think of Fred Armisen and Bill Hader during the royal family skits on Saturday Night Live?
idontcare23 5
Love u 2 grandma ;)
MellyLuck1484 7
... That is when you should have said that you couldn't get money from insurance anyway since you're the one that gave him the STD's to start with.
IHaveThePower 16
I think someone confused 'rich' with 'sophisticated' when they introduced you. Sophisticated people are classy, graceful, and a delight to meet. Rich people are...well.
SAgirl 21
Wish we could get an update, did you guys break up or get married?
DLBL 22
Peasants. No one cares about the insurance payout as much as the asset inheritance. Unless they're piss-pot poor.