Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our one-year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
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Top comments
Callmesam 10
Make cookies with them and then tell him he can't have any since he bought it for you as a gift.
Geometric 18
Your boyfriend is hilarious, I would laugh hysterically too :D
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Comments (124)
SlenderMann 10
Clever man.
reallytho3 11
Unless he was talking about the individual grains lol
Steve95401 49
And OP didn't specify whether she wanted carnations, roses or Pillsbury Gold Medal.
bensharp 5
Shock him by not getting revenge, and use it to make something awesome for you guys to share and eat together.
alexandrialala 6
Your boyfriend has a brilliant sense of humor.
ohshitson76 7
Make cookies put laxatives in them. Then give them to him as a gift.
aj9090 9
sorry, that was hilarious!
realtingdis 12
Sounds like something I'd do.
BloodyNimrod 6
Ha! How thoughtful of him!
maddygirl820 10
It's actually pretty funny OP