By Louis - France - Saint-jean-de-braye Guess the FML Can you figure out what happens next? 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Falkirk Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 60124 You deserved it 5775 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twicethepersonioncewas - United States - Merion Station Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML I agree, your life sucks 12229 You deserved it 958 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cuntocracy - Australia Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML I agree, your life sucks 48108 You deserved it 6036 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DuChaillu - United States Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML I agree, your life sucks 12085 You deserved it 27684 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UTurn Today, I lost my phone during a hike up Mount Washington. Luckily, it was reported to the office, and they called my wife. Too bad we had already been driving for at least four hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 1397 You deserved it 259 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Sydney Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML I agree, your life sucks 51427 You deserved it 3304 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/5/2020 20:00 Vultures Today, after spending a few weeks getting to know my birth father and thinking he seemed decent, he's realised my adoptive parents aren’t rich and no, I can’t lend him a few grand. Now, he’s vanished and written several nasty Facebook posts about not being able to trust family. FML I agree, your life sucks 2167 You deserved it 226 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gross - Australia Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 28209 You deserved it 3948 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Royersford Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML I agree, your life sucks 17211 You deserved it 5697 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poorkids - United States - Auburn Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML I agree, your life sucks 37485 You deserved it 3998 266 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 37634 You deserved it 3559 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML I agree, your life sucks 32732 You deserved it 2880 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shit.... - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML I agree, your life sucks 19560 You deserved it 31205 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OH COME ON - United States Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML I agree, your life sucks 33681 You deserved it 5531 241 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmlguy Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML I agree, your life sucks 9234 You deserved it 86084 447 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got to a patient having a seizure and was approached by a bystander who said to me, "I have pharmaceutical grade essential oils, and they recommend Frankincense for seizures." Thank you? FML I agree, your life sucks 1677 You deserved it 109 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Utica Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML I agree, your life sucks 26050 You deserved it 2697 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Powerless111 Freedom of speech Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML I agree, your life sucks 972 You deserved it 1786 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeedaNosePlug - United States Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 27218 You deserved it 3197 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just_do_it_17 - United States Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 40898 You deserved it 8044 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WellFineThen - United States - Cedar Falls Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML I agree, your life sucks 4896 You deserved it 264 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shantoya - United States Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML I agree, your life sucks 30783 You deserved it 2927 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anizzaf - United States Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML I agree, your life sucks 30168 You deserved it 3089 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bandking - United States - Cleveland Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 38084 You deserved it 5454 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ILiveWithMorons - United States Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML I agree, your life sucks 34307 You deserved it 3326 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 36103 You deserved it 2934 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HopelessGRLF Today, I was talking to a guy I met on a dating site, and he asked if we could meet up and what we should do. When I suggested ice-skating he told me he was in a wheelchair, so I said we could go for a walk instead. I realised my mistake the moment I sent the message. FML I agree, your life sucks 8027 You deserved it 2126 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alicia - Canada - Montreal Wanker Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML I agree, your life sucks 46142 You deserved it 11949 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer saying they were having trouble getting ahold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to the place and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 7487 You deserved it 464 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Superman - United States - Bellflower Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML I agree, your life sucks 24002 You deserved it 1899 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By georgiaswish - United Kingdom Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML I agree, your life sucks 54894 You deserved it 3815 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meens42 - United States Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 58102 You deserved it 2820 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Obi-Wan - United Kingdom - Manchester Pink Lightsaber Today, I walked in on my 17 year-old son masturbating. He froze, raised his hand and tried to use the "force" to remove the memory. I'm regretting ever having let him watch Star Wars. FML I agree, your life sucks 1726 You deserved it 408 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By confusedcatlover - United Kingdom - London Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML I agree, your life sucks 57122 You deserved it 6194 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ari Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML I agree, your life sucks 2770 You deserved it 348 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shitsuo01 - United States - Douglasville Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML I agree, your life sucks 4304 You deserved it 363 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/7/2020 20:02 Mixed signals Today, I had the girl of my dreams in my bed. She was laughing and smiling, kissing and talking. It was great. Then suddenly she said, "I want to go home; is that rude?" Then she left. I called, but now I'm blocked. FML I agree, your life sucks 2071 You deserved it 244 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dinosaucer - United States Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML I agree, your life sucks 34161 You deserved it 3529 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/2/2021 10:58 All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go Today, I had to cancel a plane ticket to a friend's wedding, because first he gave me the wrong date, after which his fiancée cut me from the guests because of Covid safety. Instead of paying $600 to be in the ceremony, I'm paying $400 to not go anywhere because the ticket could only be partially refunded. FML I agree, your life sucks 848 You deserved it 79 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Etrius - United States - La Grande Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML I agree, your life sucks 42237 You deserved it 7143 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mustangbravo | 27 #7457614 - Friday 19 May 2017 22:23 The camera pans as if someone was recording this waiting for it to happen and follows the action. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By James Martin | 3 #7458498 - Monday 22 May 2017 4:17 some security cameras have a motion sensor that follows movement Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By mustangbravo | 27 #7457614 - Friday 19 May 2017 22:23 The camera pans as if someone was recording this waiting for it to happen and follows the action. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Reply James Martin | 3 #7458498 - Monday 22 May 2017 4:17 some security cameras have a motion sensor that follows movement Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 105 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 165 4 Comments